CANBERRA: TOILET RATINGS

So, whilst travelling around our lovely nation’s capital, I had the opportunity to acquaint myself with various public facilities across the state.

Again, we can thank my unreliable and uncooperative body for that.

Since my blog ‘Public Toilet Discoveries’ was posted on 18 December 2011, I am proud to say that I take comfort in the knowledge that I’m not alone in my feelings about public amenities, as you have so openly shared your views with me. 

As such, I have rated the various facilities I used during my massive (three nights/two days) visit to Canberra, for you.

Do not look upon this blog entry as a trifle, my friends; for it is not.  It is but a tool for you to use, should you find yourself, for whatever reason, in Canberra, or travelling to and from it.

Take heed my friends; the knowledge you shall gain from this blog, is worth its weight in four-ply toilet paper.

Korean BBQ Restaurant, Manuka

OMG.  This place was awesome.  The main entry door to the toilets was automatic.  AUTOMATIC!  Awesome! Modern facilities.  Good toilet paper. Beautiful wash basins with sensor taps.  Paper towels to dry off.  After leaving my cubicle, I didn’t have to touch anything that some feral that didn’t wash their hands had touched before me.  Perfect hygiene! No hand sanitiser required.

Parliament House

As expected, the facilities here were excellent.  In reality, I’m paying for these toilets, so I would expect nothing but quality.

Nice clean toilets; modern tiling, but not an over the top, in your face ‘we-have-all-of-your-money-so-suck-on-that’ standard.  Decent quality toilet paper.  Sensor taps, and paper towels to dry your hands.  No hand sanitiser was required, but I used it to cleanse away the contaminant of political corruption.  Even Charlie used it, for exactly the same reason.

Australian War Memorial

Again, an excellent standard.  However, I would expect nothing less from an establishment that is so clearly respected and honoured not only by the people that work there, but the people that visit it.  No more needs to be said.

Submarine Museum, Holbrook NSW

For a dinky little, volunteer run, desperate-for-funds museum in the middle of nowhere on the Hume (I was surprised how busy this little town was), the toilets here were excellent. 

Old, but clean and tidy.  Decent toilet paper, but no paper towels.  Hand sanitiser was used, as well as washing, but only because I’m anal. 

Holbrook Hotel, Holbrook NSW (return trip)

Stopped in her for lunch on the way home, and considering the vintage of the hotel, was not surprised to find the toilets had not had an update since before I was born. 

Clean, tidy and smelt nice.  Decent toilet paper, but no hand towels.  Hand sanitiser, as well as washing, was used because again, I’m anal.

Westfield Woden (Phillip) Hoyts Cinema Toilets

Okay Tiling.  Okay cleanliness.  Crappy toilet paper and no paper hand towels.  Mirror was massive, not that you could see it through the throng of teenage drama queens applying more polly-filler and lip gloss.  Hand sanitiser was required, more for comfort than anything else.

Jugiong Roadhouse

Again, a relic from perhaps 1975, with a toilet as small and squashy as a shower cubicle.  However, it was clean, had decent toilet paper, and smelt nice.  Even had paper towels.  Used hand sanitizer (as well as washing) to remove the stench of over four decades of use, and no refurbishment.

BP Service Centre, Just Over The NSW Border

I have mentally blocked the name of this place, because of the experience I had here.

The toilets were nothing more than ordinary.  Tiling and a colour scheme from 1985, with toilet paper to suit.  Having a bin directly below the hand dryer, where I saw that some classy piece of work had dumped a used nappy and a half eaten cookie, was a highlight.

This, combined with Captain Arsehole behind the checkout, who was carrying on like he owned the place (possibly did), and bagging ‘Victorians’ like we had the fucken plague, down graded this facility in a massive way.

If I had not been dying of thirst, I would have told him to take his bottle of NSW tainted Mount Franklin Sparkling, and shove it fair up his showbaggin’ arse.  Fucktard.

Hand sanitizer a necessity.

If travelling into NSW, to ensure you do not ‘accidentally’ stop at this horrid place, drive a good half hour into the state, just to be on the safe side.

Roadside Rest Stop, Outskirts of Benalla, On The Hume Highway

Don’t even go near this place.  In fact, the safest thing for you to do, is steer clear of all rest stops within a half-hour radius of Benalla.  We parked four meters away from the toilets, and I could smell them as soon as I cracked the door.  The toilet wouldn’t flush, and I didn’t even bother with the wash facilities, because they were scary lookin’. 

When I got back to the car, I poured two bottles of water and hand sanitiser over myself, and scrubbed myself clean.

Charlie peed in the trees.

My dear public toilet using friends, I hope that this is of some use to you. 

The information contained in this blog, is based on my travels from Victoria to Canberra, and return.  I will note here, that there are a million places to stop along the way, particularly in NSW.  Truck stops, service centres, road houses and amenity stops.  I seriously don’t think you could go half an hour without coming across something that would suit your needs.

Thumbs up to the government, local councils and shires, or whoever the fuck organises these things, because there is no longer a need to go rushing into the trees on the side of the road in extreme desperation any more, unless of course you’re a five year old kid who’s still figuring out how their body works, and can’t be blamed for providing short notice.

Happy travellin’.

A sanitised peace out.