PURPLE HOUSES

So, the other day over a cuppa, my friends and I were discussing what we can only assume is the new cult: the cult of purple houses.

They’re popping up all over the place, but at the same time; quite randomly. 

None of us could understand the attraction to these said purple houses, either.  For the life of us, we could not understand why someone would paint their house purple.  It’s like the most random, out there colour we could imagine.  Yet, when done well, looks absolutely smashing.

We are all traditionalists, if not fundamentally boring, in our house colour selection.  Between us, if we don’t have brick or sandstone houses, we have cream/white weatherboard ones.  Mine would have been the most extreme, with cream boards, a blue roof, and terracotta coloured guttering.  WOOT! I live on the edge!

However, the purple house phenomenon seems to be, like Hello Kitty, slowly taking over the world.

We could name quite a few suburbs where we had seen random purple houses.  Now, we’re not talking the funky modern rendered house with an eggplant-purple feature façade.  Oh no! We’re talking the entire house painted purple, as in this photo.

So, we were wondering if the purple house meant something, like a code of some kind.  If people saw the purple house, it was like a ‘sign’ for something.

Like, we all know what a red light at the front door means, don’t we?  Well, were wondering the purple house was the new red light?  What if the purple house meant you could come here and get some lovin’ (at a price, of course).

Or maybe it was code for ‘this is where you could come to buy some drugs n’ stuff’?  That would explain why these houses are so random, so spread apart and there is like one in every suburb.  It’s the place to go for lovin’ and drugs. 

‘You can’t be serious…’ one of my girls said.  ‘Instead of red light, we have purple house?’

‘Why not?’ said another one and we all started giggling like a pack of primary school girls staring at a Justin Beiber poster.  ‘What if it is?’

‘We don’t know the people that are in these houses…’ I said.  ‘It could be that they simply have no taste.’

‘You need to blog and find out if this is code, Lee.’ One of my friends said.  ‘I feel a blog coming on!’ and we all started laughing our heads off.

‘I will tap one of my reliable sources first, before I blog about this.’ I said confidently.  ‘I will get to the bottom of this, I will.’

So, convinced that this is what it actually was all about, I went to the most reliable source I could find, to research and confirm our suspicions.  Yes my friends; I went to Google.

How disappointing that was.

I’ve learnt that purple houses are often used in movie sets, particularly for young children or young teenage girls, as the colour is pleasing and funky.

It is also a colour used by a chain of beauty outlets and natural therapies, restaurants, historic buildings, child care facilities and tourist attractions.

What also discovered, and much to my amusement, is that someone out there clearly has the same fascination with purple houses that we did, and has created a blog where they post up pictures of the purple houses they discover in their travels! Awesome!

However, not a single mention of red lights or drugs anywhere. 

How terribly disappointing.

In fact, I feel awful because some purple houses are used as child care facilities, and I now have visions of crack addicts walking up the front steps of a child care centre, looking for a hit and some cheap love.  Jesus….

So clearly, our theory was completely wrong.  COMPLETELY WRONG.  *sigh*

So, I ask you this, my blog reading peeps: do you have a purple house in your suburb?  Do you live in a purple house?  Do you understand the attraction to a purple house, or why someone would decorate their house so?

If so, please explain it to me, because I’m totally lost.

Purple peace out.

WEEK 5 SYL CHALLENGE: CATCH YOUR BREATH

So, this week’s challenge is a simple one: catch your breath. 

The first four challenges were quite interesting, and for some people doing the challenge, quite conflicting and emotional.  So, as a reward: no challenge this week.

However, it is an opportunity to reflect upon what I’ve learnt over the past four weeks.  So, here goes.

I’ve learnt that last year, although incredibly difficult on many levels, was also very rewarding.  I just have to remember to focus on the positive and not cling to the negative all the time.

I’ve learnt that I have sound core values, which I often take for granted, and have to constantly remind myself to stay aligned with them.  That in itself can be a challenge.

I have created a mission for myself; a twelve month objective to guide me along the path to life simplification.  In doing this, I’ve given myself something to fall back on if I feel a little lost along the way.

I have also had a dimensional look at my life, and am now more consciously aware of what’s going on in my life, and where I’m at with respect to my objectives.  I’m hoping that one of the future challenges holds the key to setting my goals, so that I can work out a map of how to reach my objectives.

So far, this challenge has been quite rewarding, and a lot of fun, particularly for a woman that tends to overthink things so much that she does her own head in (yeah I know: what a surprise….).  It’s been quite settling.

I’m looking forward to discovering the future challenges and tasks that this program will present.  Could be interesting….

Peace out peeps.

THE FABRIC OF UNITY (II)

Following on from my previous blog about the ugly Australia Day protest at The Lobby Restaurant in Canberra, I find it interesting how things evolve.

It has become apparent that one of the Prime Ministers junior media advisors, Tony Hodges and/or the ACT union official Kim Sattler has ‘leaked’ information to the Tent Embassy protesters, with the view of causing a political incident on Australia Day.

I wonder if, wherever they were on that day, and whilst they were sitting there watching the Prime Minister of this nation being hustled out of a restaurant amidst all of that terrifying turmoil, that the thought ‘this has gotten a tad out of control…’ ever crossed their minds…

Mmmm….

This of course gets my mind working overtime on all of the possibly conspiracy theories behind it. So, let’s have a look at a couple of them, but remember; this is just a theory…

 

Scenario number one:  Big Tony is faring well in the polls against the PM.  The ALP will take whatever opportunity they can to discredit him in any way, in an effort to gain ground in the polls.  That’s simple politics.

It is also a known fact that political media advisors, like Tony Hodges, and even some MP’s, contact media outlets with suggested questions for interviews with their opposing MP’s. 

Could it have been possible that the publicity machine has decided to take advantage of the Australia/Invasion Day issue that’s rippling the water, and contact a media outlet and suggest the ‘Tent Embassy’ question be addressed to Big Tony on that predicable Australia Day door-stop interview?

I originally thought it was odd that Big Tony would be asked something seemingly so random as ‘What are your views on the Tent Embassy? However, considering the Tent Embassy was holding a march about the whole ‘invasion day’ issue, and the debate itself had been running for a couple of weeks, I guess it wasn’t totally inappropriate…

A junior media advisor (a perfect patsy) makes contact with someone involved with the Tent Embassy to tell them that Big Tony has said that he feels the Embassy should be disbanded and removed (a statement we all know now to be completely false and untrue).  Big Tony and the PM will be at The Lobby restaurant, and the protesters should confront him there about his comments.

The protesters have already been on a march that day, and are feeling empowered and impassioned, and now they’re already fired up and primed for confrontation. 

The protesters (predicably) storm The Lobby restaurant, create a security risk, which results in the PM and Big Tony being man-handled out of the restaurant and into a waiting security vehicle, which speeds away, scattering the unruly protesters in its wake.  All conveniently in front of the hungry national media.

Pictures of ‘poor Julia’ are plastered across every form of media, and Big Tony is painted as a racist fool for speaking so disrespectfully about the Tent Embassy, and endangering the life of the PM.

The Prime Minister’s stately control under pressure, consideration for the safety of her political opponent, combined with the sheer terror she emitted whilst being ‘removed’ from the restaurant, have her coming out of the whole incident smelling of roses.

There’s also the added bonus of making the protesters look completely feral and out of control, therein damaging the image of the noble cause that the Tent Embassy originally represented.

It’s brilliant.

And it’ nearly worked.

We then discovered that Mr Hodges, the junior media advisor in question, after hearing Big Tony’s interview, felt that his comments should be responded to, and contacted the Unions ACT secretary, Kim Sattler (who is of indigenous heritage) and asked for her opinion.

This is where it gets interesting.

Hodges claims he conveyed to Ms Sattler, Big Tony’s statement accurately, but Ms Sattler told a different story. 

Firstly, she denied speaking to Hodges at all, and then she changed her story, confirming that Mr Hodges had indeed contacted her, and suggested that the Tent Embassy protesters confront Big Tony over his comments.  He also conveniently told her where they could find him. 

Then, Ms Sattler again changed her story, and confirmed that Mr Hodges had conveyed Big Tony’s comments correctly after all.

The blame game begins, and people start ducking for cover; hiding from the fallout of this terrible incident that could have become an issue of racism, but instead, looks like an intended political dint in Big Tony’s armour, gone horribly wrong.  

How quickly the worm turns.

Scenario number two.  What if it was the Liberal party that planted the media question?  What if they knew that Big Tony’s carefully structured answer to the ‘Tent Embassy’ question would be taken out of context and plastered all over the media?

Usually, how the media department of a political party works, is that they sit down every morning and look for the ‘line of the day’.  Something that may have been said the day before, or something that relates to a current issue, that they can pump throughout the day to hammer home a political point of view. 

A good example of this is the famous ‘there will be no carbon tax under the government I lead…’  The Liberal party have banged this drum at every opportunity, and have been incredibly successful in discrediting the Prime Minister because of it.

What if the Liberals knew that the ALP would jump on the ‘move on’ comment, and twist it around to suit themselves? 

Take the ‘shit happens’ comment of Big Tony’s a few years ago.  Big Tony was talking to our soldiers in Afghanistan, and they were talking about manoeuvres being planned and programmed, but unexpected things happen, and go wrong.  Big Tony’s said ‘I agree; shit happens’, and the soldiers completely related to what he said. 

The ALP were all over it like a fly on shit, taking the comment out of context, and claiming Big Tony had no respect for our diggers.  This completed backfired, and made the ALP look like fools.  The ALP looked completely spiteful, dishonest and distrustful, and Big Tony just looked like a mug. 

The truth will eventually come out; it’s something you can never hide from.

The Liberals could discredit the ALP by claiming that they are again twisting the words of a man that does work extensively (and privately) with the indigenous community, and trying to create a racist slur, and in turn, making themselves look racist for thinking of it in the first place.

I think I’m clutching at straws on this one, because I don’t think the Liberals are that smart, and the ALP are doing a fine job of discrediting themselves without any assistance from anyone else.

The other conspiracy theory is one I heard on the radio this morning. 

One of the Tent Embassy founders (Michael Anderson I think) suggested that this entire incident was a political stunt designed to discredit the Tent Embassy, and lead to its abolition. 

Considering some of the indigenous leaders of the day suggest also that it’s time for the Tent Embassy to be disbanded, as it’s 20 years past it’s relevancy date, and has been taken over by a group of people whose views are not aligned with the indigenous movement, then maybe that’s not a bad idea.

Please don’t riot my home for me saying that.

What makes me laugh at this entire situation even more, is that Wayne Swann has come out over the last couple of days, and slammed Big Tony being completely negative about the entire situation, by insisting that the AFP (Australian Federal Police) investigate this matter, as the media advisors leaking the whereabouts of Mr Abbott and the Prime Minister, breach security regulations, and risked the safety of not only our two political leaders, but every single person in The Lobby that day.

 

I think Mr Swann has his head firmly inserted in his arse, and his opposing views have succeeded in making him look like a clown. 

So, this whole episode is turning into yet another political farce, with both parties pointing the finger at each other, and again, I think Ms Gillard will be the one that could be lumbered with the fallout from the actions of her party, yet again.

Ahhhh…. Never a dull day in politics, is there?

Peace out.

HERALD SUN ARTICLE

Interesting article following yesterday's debacle in Canberra.  Written by Andrew Bolt for the Herald Sun, you may find it interesting (though some of you will not read it, simply because of it's author).


http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/day-of-shame-shows-why-we-must-stop-this-racial-charade/story-e6frfifx-1226254760404


Peace out.

THE FABRIC OF UNITY

For as long as I live, I will never forget the terrified look on the Prime Ministers face yesterday. 

Nor will I forget the look of determination on her security details, either.  They had the ‘package’, and they were getting it out of there as quickly and efficiently as possible.  The end.  It was like watching a scene from a Hollywood movie.

And who would have thought that Gillard and Abbot would have been keen to share the back seat of a car? Hahaha….

Now, I’m not the biggest fan of Julia Gillard, as you well know.  However, what happened to her yesterday was nothing short of a disgrace.  For the Prime Minister of this country to have to face that situation, and to be physically ‘handled’ to safety, was terrible. 

Yesterday, some members of the indigenous community that occupy the Tent Embassy in front of the old Parliament House in Canberra took things too far.  Whoever riled this mob up into such a frenzy that they felt screaming obscenities, abuse, defamatory remarks and banging on the windows of a public restaurant was acceptable, should hang their heads in absolute shame. 

There was no justification for the way these protesters behaved yesterday, and I fear what would have happened if they had gotten their hands on our political leaders.  Brandishing rocks and sticks, and screaming abuse whilst Gillard and Abbot were bustled past them, was just shameful.

The one thing that has come out of all of this, and the saddest thing I dare say, is that these protesters have done more damage to the Aboriginal cause than good. 

Sure, there are extremists in every movement, organisation, religion and political party, but no one takes seriously the people that demonstrate their views in such a violent, conflicting way.

I listened to an interview with Warren Mundine this morning on the radio.  Mr Mundine is a former ALP National President and a leader in the Aboriginal community.

He described yesterday’s incident as a disgrace and shame to the indigenous community, and a slight on the unification of Australia.

He described the protesters from the Tent Embassy as a ‘motley crew’ that are more into division than unification.  They were more intent on pushing their own agenda than that of the Aboriginal cause.

He also said that Mr Abbot’s comments (which were completely misinterpreted and used as the weapon to trigger this demonstration) were ‘pretty timid’ and were also ‘words that echoed his own words’. 

He also said that the Tent Embassy, when original set up in 1972, ‘met the aspirations of Aboriginal people at the time.  But quite frankly, it is irrelevant to the mainstream of Aboriginal people today, and has been for the last 20 years.’

And he was angry.  Disappointed, disgusted, angry and vehemently condemned the protesters for their behaviour yesterday.  ‘Aggressive, divisive and frightening protests such as this, have no place in debates about the affairs of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people’.

I do not for a second even begin to claim I understand anything about the plight of our indigenous community.  I’m too wrapped up in finding the balance within my own house, let alone someone else’s.  Call it ignorance if you like, but that’s just my reality; a reality shared by many other Australians.

I leave the plight of the indigenous to their leaders, who are far more knowledgeable than I could ever be.

However, that doesn’t change what happened yesterday, and this ‘motley crew’ have possibly succeeded in undoing a lot of wonderful work that their more respected community members have achieved over the last few decades.

What I also find interesting, is that Mr Mundine can condemn the indigenous extremists freely, because he is a part of the wider Aboriginal community.  Yet, if I do; I’m a racist.

Please explain what the difference is here?  If I use exactly the same words, words which are shared with our indigenous leaders, why am I a racist?  Is it because of the colour of my skin?  Or that I’m an ‘invader’?

If so, does that make those calling me a racist, racist too? 

Double standards and reverse racism seem to be overlooked a lot these days by do-gooders with nothing better to do than involve themselves in a cause they know little about, to push their own agendas.

I also wonder how on earth this incident was even allowed to happen.  How did it get so out of control?  How were these protesters allowed to get so close, and become so threatening, that the Prime Minster had to be evacuated?  How did it deteriorate so quickly?

If we were in America, and Julia Gillard was the President, those protesters wouldn’t have gotten within a hundred feet of her.  There would have been secret service everywhere, and friggin’ snipers on roofs and all sorts going on.

However, this is not America.  We’re far more laid back here, and sometimes I wonder if we’re just too laid back.

On day that was supposed to celebrate Australia’s wonderful multiculturalism, acknowledge our origins and embrace all as one, we saw the fabric of unity torn apart by an extreme few.

For shame.

Peace out.

PS: the attached link is to an article I’ve obtained some of my information from, for your perusal.

Mob Sinks Slipper Into Nations Day

'STRALYA DAY

So, what does Australia Day mean to you?

January 26.  The day the entire nation celebrates being Australian.  ‘Stralyan.

It is our chance to celebrate our country, give thanks for all that this great nation offers, and have a beer with mates whilst we throw another shrimp on the barbie.

Yeah.  Australia Day.

To me, this day is just another day, to be honest.  I’ve never felt a real attachment to it before; however, recent developments have seen that change.

Over the past few weeks in the lead up to this day, I’ve seen articles and Facebook statuses and all sorts of shit condemning Australia Day, and demanding it be changed to ‘Invasion Day’.  A day that acknowledges the true meaning of January 26 to some people.

The day that white man first came to this country, and in the view of some, signalling the demise of our indigenous forefathers.  Ignorant do-gooders are standing up and demanding that the name of this national public holiday be changed to the rather negative ‘Invasion Day’, in acknowledgement of what ‘white man’ has done.

They say it’s not a moment to be proud, or to celebrate, because our indigenous brothers have suffered because of it.  Well, this could be true; however, I’m not going to get into that argument.

To me, Australia Day is about celebrating this nation as one, including the indigenous community.  There is no difference between any of us on this day, and we should open our arms wide and embrace everyone in thanks.

As I sit here typing this blog, I wonder what our indigenous family really think.  Do they want this day to be changed to ‘Invasion Day’?  Do they feel as hard pressed as we’re told they do? 

I have a mate that’s aboriginal, and I can confidently tell you this: he’ll possibly be standing behind his barbeque right now (it’s 12pm), in a t-shirt with either the Australian flag on it, or the Bundy Bear; tongs in one hand; beer in the other. He’ll be lovingly cooking the burger patties that he possibly made himself, whilst his wife organises some yummy salads, and his family and friends enjoy their pool. And he has a nice sunny day for it.

I wonder if he’s thinking about Invasion Day?  I wonder if he’s just thankful for the home he has, the family he loves and the job that keeps the money rolling through the door to pay for it all, just like the rest of us.

These ‘invasion day’ do-gooders seem to have lost the meaning of Australia Day, to me.  It’s not about singling out one race; it’s not about apologising for, or making good on historical events. 

It’s about acknowledging who we are now, and where we’ve come from.  What we’ve built up as a nation, as family and as human beings. 

We are the lucky country.  When you look around the globe, and see political conflict, civil wars, extreme poverty, violence, terrorism and cultural hatred, it’s a world very different from our own. 

It would be ignorant of me to not acknowledge that there is violence, hatred, terrorism and cultural discrimination here, but not to the extremes of other countries.  We seem to be sheltered from a lot of that.  Our easy-going nature creates a peaceful ebb and flow around us, and we have constructed a multicultural country of peace.

You may disagree with it, but that’s my view on it. 

Australia Day is about celebration.  It’s about getting together with family and friends, and enjoying a lamb roast, a barbie, a couple of frothy’s, a swim in the pool, fishing in the river, camping by the Lake Nagambie, riding a tube behind a boat at Echuca, strolling around Federation Square in Melbourne, visiting the Sydney Opera House, watching the tennis at Rod Laver Arena, or the cricket in Adelaide, wearing a t-shirt with an Aussie flag on it, slamming back a Bundy and chomping on a snag in bread with onion and tomato sauce.

It’s about enjoying and celebrating the Australian way of life; simple and peaceful.

I asked Charlie what Australia Day meant to him, and he said ‘What? Apart from a day off work?’ and smiled.  ‘Years ago, if you had an Australian Flag on your car, you were considered a wanker.  Now, it’s a clear symbol of pride.  We seem to be prouder of who we are and of our flag now.  We wear hats and t-shirts with Aussie flags on them, and paint our faces and have a good time. 

When we go to the footy, it’s a ‘them-and-us’ mentality, you know? Because it’s all for the love of sport and competition.  Push all that aside, and it’s just ‘us’.  At the end of the day, we don’t care what team we follow, or what political party we support; it’s just us.  You know, Aussies as one.’

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Happy Australia Day, Australia.

Peace out.

WEEK 4 SYL CHALLENGE: BALANCE & THE WHEEL OF LIFE

So, week four of the Simplify Your Life Challenge is another interesting one.  I've reflected on 2012, assessed my core values and mapped out a mission statement for myself, giving me some clarity and direction for the year to come.

However, this new challenge requires me to assess where I'm at right now with these values and missions.  Sounds simple enough, right?

Mmmm... the website provided a diagram that we could complete with our own details, and then sit back and have a good look at ourselves.

I love diagrams.  I love graphs.  I love shit that helps you assess stuff, all whilst looking pretty at the same time.  

However, I didn't like what i saw in this diagram.

Please forgive the terrible scanning.  I had issues with it.

So, we're supposed to list and rate eight items that are a part of our Wheel of Life; things that contribute to our daily, monthly, yearly life, that we feel are the most important.  For me, it was my Home Life, Personal Development, Health & Fitness and Money, combined with four of my core values (my agreements), that I try to live my life by, and hold very dear to my soul.

We rate these items from 1 to 5, depending on how we feel we're going with that specific item.  For example, I think I am doing very well with being impeccable with my word, so I have rated that 5.  I feel that my money situation could be better, so I've rated that 2, and so on.

Anyway, if you look at the flow of the red line, I'm all over the place like a hooker on New Years Eve.  Whilst I'm on top of some things, other things are lagging way behind.  This wheel is designed to not only highlight what our priorities should be for the next twelve months, but help us form our goals.

So clearly, there are some issues that I need to focus on here.  I think, even though I've assessed my core values and pumped out my mission statement for 2012 (the previous two challenges), this little Wheel of Life gives me more clarity than I've had in a long time.

If I can focus my efforts on improving some of the items, if not all of the items on this wheel, then maybe by the end of 2012, I can find some balance and harmony in my life.

Mmmm... I don't think I can even imagine what harmony would feel like... Well, we'll just have to wait and see what other challenges the Simplify Your Life team come up with.  Hopefully, they will steer me in the right direction.

If you would like to check out the wheel for yourself (you don't have to be a part of the challenge if you don't want to - its just interesting), then click on the following link.  If you read through the article, it will explain what you have to do.

Simplify Your Life: Balance & The Wheel Of Life Challenge

Give it a crack.  What have you got to lose?

Peace out.

YOU GOTTA NO WHEN TO HOLD EM...

So, whoever the genius was in the Labor party that came up with the idea of replacing Harry Jenkins, must be laughing like a big fat hairy spider right now.

It was a simple stroke of genius that completely blindsided the Liberals, and secured the Gillard government until the next election.

It was simply brilliant.

Not many of us would have realised the powerful impact that this seemingly simple change made.

When Harry Jenkins, who had been the Speaker of the House since Gillard came into power, suddenly decided to resign his position and return to the ‘trenches’, everyone was surprised.

Except for the Labor party power brokers that were in the know.  And of course, Mr Jenkins.  Oh, and let’s not forget: slippery Pete.

Mr Slipper.  Slippery Pete; the Deputy Speaker of the House.  The Liberal MP from the seat of Fisher in the lovely state of Queensland.  Now a Liberal defector, and an ‘independent’, having cut all ties with his beloved Liberal party to cross the floor, and ally himself with the enemy.

Slippery Pete, who had been told by the Liberal party that he would not have their support at the next Federal election, and that they would be placing a new Liberal candidate in Fisher, enacted a brutal revenge upon them.

By crossing the floor and taking up the position as speaker, he succeeded in shifting the power in the Lower House from 75 Labor; 74 Liberal, to 76 Labor; 73 Liberal, and handing Julia Gillard a precious three seat majority in the house.

Now standing as another independent in the Lower House, Slippery Pete is firmly in the Prime Ministers back pocket, even though he publicly assures us that he cannot guarantee supporting the government when called upon; it will depend on the issues and how he and his electorate feel about them.

Yeah.  Right.

Let’s forget that he’s under investigation for alleged (and I stress: alleged) miss-use of public funds. Travel expenses that were ridiculous and meal and personal expense bills that were out of control; Slippery Pete was desperately dodging a bullet in home town Fisher, where the entire electorate and local press had him well and truly in the cross hairs.

Mr Slipper was looking down the barrel at the end of his career.  Thank God for the Labor government, who kindly stepped in and offered him a lifeline.

Worked out well for everyone, didn’t it?  Positively brilliant.

The Liberal party wanted to rid themselves of a man that was allegedly (there’s that word again) questionable in his handling of expenses, and they indirectly succeeded in doing so; handing Slippery Pete over to the Labor party (as an independent), where he can spend quality time with the likes of the honourable, Craig Thompson MP, who also has trouble handling finances (allegedly).

So, big deal I hear you say?

Big deal indeed.  In a minority government, a three seat lead is crucial.  Why, I hear you ask?  Well, let me explain.

Let’s go back to Slippery Pete’s new bffl; Craig Thompson.  Member for Dobell, who apparently thinks spending $2500 of union member’s money on a night at a brothel, is okay (allegedly).  Who is in more shit than a duck on a settling pond, and if found guilty of miss-use of union’s funds, could be arsed from Parliament.

Now, in reality, if Mr Thompson is forced to resign, the seat of Dobell could hold a bi-election to find a new representative.  The political experts believe that Labor will not win this seat again, which means it could fall into Liberal hands.

Previously holding a one seat majority, this would mean that the Labor government, even with the assistance of the independents, could not hold power, and back to the polls we would go, where I dare say, Labor may not win.

However, now that Slipper Pete has enacted his revenge on Big Tony and his Liberal buddies, Craig Thompson can burn and Ms Gillard will be the one laughing like a big fat hairy spider, because she will still have a majority.  Just.

However, the likelihood that anything happening Mr Thompson before the next election, is very slim.  His ‘issues’ will be dragged out and stalled for as long as humanly (and politically) possible.

So where is the big gamble in all of this?

Well, the big gamble lies in picturesque Tasmania.  More specifically, in the seat of Denison, which is held by independent MP, Mr Andrew Wilkie.

So what does a little independent member of parliament from the state that everyone forgets about, but loves visiting, have to do with anything?  Interesting you ask.

Mr Wilkie’s sailed his way into parliament on the back of a few simple policies; one of which was pokie reform.  Like Senator Nick Xanaphon, Mr Wilkie’s obsession with pokie reform is almost evangelistic.

So much so, that the support he threw behind the Gillard government that carried them into office, hinged on it.  Post-election, Mr Wilkie found himself in a very powerful position to negotiate, as is the nature of politics. 

The key to offering his support of the Gillard government was that they implement his suggested pokie reforms before May 2012.  However, the Gillard government has received so much back lash from its members, electorates and powerful industry leaders regarding these reforms, that it’s been reeling.  They are boxed into a corner on this issue, and the only way out, was to break their promise to Mr Wilkie.

Yes, another broken promise.

However, doing so would cost them power.  Well, would have. 

Now, with the ‘slippery’ replacement of Mr Jenkins, the Gillard government just picked up the ace that gave them the winning hand.  Mr Wilkie placed all of his bets, played his hand, and lost. 

The perfect poker play.

Now, even though he declares that he may, and I stress may; withdraw his support, it will be for nothing.  The Gillard government cannot lose.

His massive gamble was brilliantly outplayed by the masters of deception.

So, a seemingly simple change of position for Mr Jenkins, has provided the massive cushion that Julia Gillard needed to secure her generous arse in The Castle.  Well, just for a little while longer, anyway.

Happy gambling.

Peace out.

YOUNG TALENT?

Well, last night saw the return of the legend: Young Talent Time.

Originally starting up in the 1970’s (I think), this show was like a variety show, which kids could enter to showcase their talents. 

In other words: talented brats on parade.

You could say it was the forefather to crap like Australian Idol, X Factor, Australia’s Got Talent, etc.  Just a lot more wholesome.  Though, if you spoke to some of the 42 previous YTT Members, their lives didn’t end up being so wholesome. 

Some were not as lucky as Tina Arena, who’s been able to construct a stellar international career from her roots in YTT.  Some have forged wonderful careers behind the scenes in the ‘industry’, but others have lost their souls to drugs and alcohol, while the rest have just faded away.

I grew up with YTT.  I remember it through my younger years and into my teens.  I loved it.  So, it’s fair to say that my expectations for last night were high.  Very high.  As were a lot of other peoples, too.

So firstly, let’s have a look at Rob Mills.  Good old Millsy.  Johnny Young (former host and founder of the show) handed the rains over to this ex-Australian Idol competitor, whose greatest claim to fame is knocking off Paris Hilton.

I love Millsy, but I wonder if he’s wholesome enough for YTT.  I also wonder how long he can hold a fake smile for, and how long he can pretend to give a shit about how ‘awesome’ the new YTT team is.

So, the show kicks off with a well rehearsed, if not semi stumbling montage of different songs which highlight the various team members talents (or lack there of, in some cases).  It was cringe-worthy to say the least.  However, I’m 40, not 12, and I’m sure it hit its demographic perfectly.

Speaking of demographic, isn’t the team just perfect?  It ticks all of the boxes, doesn’t it?  You have the token Asian, token surfer dude, token blacks, token ‘girl next door’, token bitch, token baby and token Beiber.  Now I say Beiber, because gay would be an inappropriate tag for ones so young.  So Beiber covers it for me.

And don’t act shocked; you were thinking it when you saw some of those kids last night, weren’t you?  You were wondering…

Speaking of Beiber; I know that teeny-boppers today love him (gaaa), but I really hate his hair.  Even he hates his hair, that’s why he’s changed it.  YTT boys: get a real haircut and stop looking so pooncy.

So they’re going back to the original format of the show; resurrecting it, you may say, because they hope to unearth more of Australia’s young talent for us.  YAY! I can’t wait! *rolls eyes*

I’m sure the millions of kids that applied for the team positions will be thrilled to know that even though they weren’t good enough for the ‘team’, they can still enjoy the consolation prize of partaking in a competition that may lead them to a role on Offspring (just ask Asher Keddie).

So who is going to judge this up-and-coming talent?  Well, the esteemed Tina Arena, who earnt her stripes on the original YTT.  Tina Arena; who is so famous from stomping around Broadway in shows that none of us have seen, let alone remember, that she doesn’t even live in Australia anymore.  Who has received an award from the French Government for her services, because they are clearly the only people that give a shit about her.  Bit like Germany’s love for The Hoff.

Tina Arena, who last night made me wince a couple of times as she screamed out that she was in chains.  I really wanted her to belt out my favourite hit of hers: I Need Your Body.  I can see my best friend Marika pissing herself laughing as she reads that one.

And the other judge? Chucky.  Yes, his name is Chucky, and my friends; Chucky can dance.  Chucky is some sexually questionable yank that has worked with just about anyone you can name, and has possibly put the moves in Jagger himself, as he alluded to last night.  When he hit the floor to rock it with the kids, he proved that he is a man of talent, so I will not bag the crap out of him too much.  He impressed me, even though he was like UBER HAPPY!!! YEAH!!!

*rolls eyes*

So, that brings us to the ‘talent’.  The new generation YTT team, who apparently *gets ‘teenager’ excited* absolutely love and can’t imagine life without their families; dancing; singing; music; friends; Beiber cuts; surfing; cooking (circle applicable).

Apparently, being on YTT is like a dream come true.  That’s because you failed at getting through to Australian Idol, X Factor and Australia’s Got Talent.  Mmm… speaks volumes.

This is another Channel 10 production, so I would expect the regular cut away from the main show, where each team member has a little chat about their feelings and how they handled the last challenge in the kitchen… oh; hang on.  Wrong show.

So we have Tyler: one of the older kids who looks like a typical surfie dude.  Majorly into rock ‘n roll, which explains why he can’t sing or dance.  Clearly there for his heartthrob potential.

Georgia May: the precious princess of ex-famous soapie star; Alyssa Jane Cook.  I wondered what ever happened to her.  Not.  Well, apparently Georgia May was born to be a star, so we’ll see what happens there.  Failing that, at least she looks pretty.  If the teenage boys don’t fall in love with her, the fathers that watch the show with their kids will.

Ayden: the baby of the team.  Naaawww.  How gorgeous is he?  Gaaa… his voice scares me (because he sounds like a girl), and he just looks like a brat.  Next.

Serena: The token Asian girl, whose talents far outweigh her looks.  This girl can really sing, and is already my favourite, because she seems to be the most human of the bunch, who are considerably two dimensional.  She was so overwhelmed by it all, she started crying on Tina Arena’s shoulder, who herself was tearing up.  Bless.

Nicholas: bland.  Great voice, but boring.  This is why you didn’t make it onto Idol.  Whatever.

Michelle: ahhh… this little poppit ticked a lot of demographic boxes last night.  She looked just beautiful.  Great voice; possibly the next Mercedes in Glee, I reckon.

Lyndal: mmm… took one look at this girl and thought ‘Hello Miley.’  She’s got that bratty, bitchy look about her that will give her an edge over the others.  She’ll be a show stopper and scene stealer; you know, one of those people you just can’t help but look at?  I like her.  Bit of spunk AND she can sing and dance.  However, her life will end up a train wreck, just like Miley’s.

Adrien: I don’t know what to make of this one.  He seemed… false, to me.  Clearly been groomed to perfection by his stage parents, who would have been standing in the back ground miming everything he had to say, and had to stop themselves from running out onto the stage and doing it all for him.  Least he looks pretty.

Tia: as fake as her fashionable ambitions.  At least she looks like a normal kid with those braces on.  Well, as they say, you can hide anything with a bit of glitter and a couple of sequins.

Sean: well, we have another picture perfect kid, who is destined to be a heartthrob.  Loves surfing, too.  Helps him clear his mind and get rid of his worries.  Hang on: you’re a kid.  YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

So, according to Tina, Chucky, Johnny and Millsy (and that annoying musical dude that crops up in EVERYTHING), these kids are really talented, and are getting better and better as each day passes.  So they should, because is would expect nothing less.  They are supposed to be the ten most talented kids in the country after all (though I wonder what country they’re talking about…).

So, I wonder how long this retro reflection will last?  How long before everyone get’s bored with the same teenagers banging out the same recycled shit week after week, with the same fake smiles, perfect hair and perfect skin. 

How long before someone photographs Millsy on a bender in a brothel, and completely shatters the illusion of purity and wholesomeness that Johnny Young had?

How long before Tina Arena get’s so thin, she disappears?

How long before I can buy myself a YTT lunch box, like the good ol’ days?

How much longer will we have to cringe through Millsy singing ‘And I’ll send all my lovin’ to you…’, surrounded by his ten little angles, all humming and swaying in time?

Who knows and who cares?

I will tell you this, though: I loved it and I will be watching it every week.  Mainly because I have no life, and it’s on before Modern Family and New Girl.

Goodnight Australia.

EVEN THE STOOPID CAT WANTS TO PLAY...

I was at Mum's the other night, and the tennis was on.  You can see by this video, that Mum's stoopid cat wanted to get in on the action as well....

ANSWER THE PHONE!!!

So, Iris has a terrible habit of not hanging up her landline phone properly.

It’s a cordless phone that you either have to press ‘end’ on, or place back into the receiver properly to terminate a phone call.  Iris will call you, leave a message for you to ring her, and then because she hasn’t hung her phone up properly, you can’t get through to her.

Then, she doesn’t ‘hear’ her mobile phone (which is so loud that it creates a sonic boom), and doesn’t answer that either.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, the other night I got back into the car after torturing myself at the gym, and upon checking my phone, I had a missed call from Mum’s mobile.

So, I ring the mobile.  What a surprise: no answer.

Now, I knew she wasn’t going anywhere that night, so I tried the land line.  It rang out.  If she doesn’t hang it up properly, it gives an engaged tone.  No, it just rang out.

From the time I left the gym in Wallan and drove to Kilmore (approximately seven minutes), I reckon I called both phones over twenty times.  No answer.

I started to panic.  Why would she ring me, then not at least answer one of them?  Maybe she’s had a fall?

I start to panic even more.

I pull up in front of her unit, and her car is there.  I know she has trouble with her legs, so she can’t walk great distances.  I feel confident that she’s in the unit.

Walk up to the front door, and it’s locked.  Of course: she’s not expecting anyone to call in.  So, I ring the bell.

Now let me tell you about this bell.  I bought it for her, because the speaker is portable.  So, if she was in the back yard or the garage, she could take it out with her, and if someone was at the front door, she would know. 

Same as the house phone: it’s portable so she can take it out in the yard with her, because she’s as deaf as a fucken post, and wouldn’t hear it ringing from ten meters away!

So she doesn’t answer the bell, but I can hear the TV inside, and hear the stoopid cat meowing.

I start to panic even more.

I run back to the car (well, my version of running anyway, which looks more like a person having a stumbling fit), grab the set of keys to her house, and run back to the front door.

Have you ever been in a panic, and had to deal with unfamiliar door keys?  They all look the same, but you don’t know which one is for what lock, so you try every key in about two seconds, but nothing opens.  Then you have to calm down and start again, because you know these keys open the frickin’ door, and all you can think is that the clock’s ticking.

So, I finally get into the house, and it’s eerily quiet.  Even with the TV in the kitchen going, it seems strange.

I hurry through the house, calling ‘Mum! Mum!’ at the top of my voice, and try not to stumble over the stupid fucken cat that’s selected that exact moment to express that it really does like me after all, and is trying in vain to wrap itself around my ankles.

Nothing.

Then I see the back door: the glass door is shut, but the wire door is open.  When she’s inside, she has both shut. 

Iris is outside.

OMG! My first reaction is that she’s fallen down the decking stairs.  There are only a couple of steps from the decking into the yard, but no rail (which Charlie hasn’t built yet!!), and Mum has to be very careful when she uses them.  What if she’s fallen?

I rip open the sliding door; no Iris.  ‘Mum!’ I yell again, and she casually waddles out of the garage.

‘Yes dear?’  She looks at me, a couple of books in her hands.  She’s obviously been going through the boxes in the garage, looking for something.

I just stare at her for a moment, and then burst into tears.  ‘Why the fuck haven’t you got your phone with you?’

She blinked a couple of times.  ‘I forgot all about it…’

‘You rang me, Ma… I’ve been ringing you phones for ages… I’ve been ringing the door bell … I was even walking through your house screaming out for you… you didn’t hear any of it?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry dear… I was looking for this photo album for tomorrow…’ she trailed off.  ‘Why are you so upset?’

‘I thought you were like dead or something… you didn’t answer… you are supposed to take your phone with you… or the doorbell….’ I sobbed.

‘Oh poppit… I’m all right…’ she waddled over and wiped my tears from my cheeks.

‘I’m not!’ I sobbed.  ‘You have me a heart attack, Ma… I’ve had enough of them…’ and gave her a massive hug.

Lesson number one: Iris is precious to me.

Lesson number two: I don’t think Iris will step two feet outside her doors without either the phone(s) or the doorbell ever again, because I think my tearful reaction frightened her more that I had frightened myself.

Peace out.