WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

Well.

A week ago, we’re laughing our arses off at Great Britain’s failure to deliver the gold.

Who’s laughing now?

The poms have pulled our pants down and given us a right royal spanking.

And we totally deserved it.

For years, our arrogance has propelled us into a position of greatness, but as the years have rolled by, the poms have quietly undermined us.  Quietly plotted against us.  Quietly pinched our coaches and trainers, and used our own against us.

Now, as we’re thankfully sitting eleventh on the Medal Ladder (thanks to Mears, Pearson, Slingsby and Jensen/Outteridge); we’re the ones wondering what’s happened.

I’m glad I’m not in London at the moment.  I’d be too embarrassed to say I was an Aussie, cos I’m sure that every pom would just point, laugh and call me a fucken loser.

Not that I’m ashamed of the Australian Olympic Team’s performance at all.  They’ve done as well as can be expected, and bagged something like twenty-six medals so far.  That’s an amazing achievement, and one I certainly can’t criticise.

I’m certainly in no position to criticise their performance, am I?  I mean, how many Olympic medals have I won?  Aahhh…. That would be none.

What Olympic sport do I specialise in?  Aaahh…. Tennis.  (Tennis is not an Olympic sport, really). 

What standard do I play?  Aahhhh… section two for Pyalong Tennis Club, in the Broadford and District Tennis Association. 

Is that an Olympic qualifying competition?  Ahhh…. Fuck no.

So, who am I to criticise?  Though; it won’t stop me J

I think we’ve placed great expectations upon our athletes these Olympics, particularly the swimmers, and they’ve simply failed to live up to them.  We did so well in the pool at Beijing, that we took it for granted that it would happen again this time around.

However, there’s a big difference the between fourteen gold medals in the pool in Beijing, as opposed to the one we have now.  Big difference.

Suzie O’Neill announced that there’ll be an inquiry into the Swim Team’s performance at these games.  Be interesting to see if she can drag them away from their social media outlets and nightclubs long enough to get answers out of them.

Save your time and the Australian Swim Team’s funding, Suze, because the answer’s screamingly obvious; we’re just not good enough. 

It just wasn’t our time.  We crashed and burned. Keep the money you would spend on an inquiry, pump it back into the program, and find us some athletes with talent and focus.  That’s what we need at the moment.

The beauty of the swim team’s failure though, is the shift in focus to other sports.

Yes people: Australia compete in Olympic sports other than swimming! Fuck me!

Athletics, equestrian, sailing, beach volleyball, cycling, triathlon, shooting… the list is endless.  We have representatives in every sport, I believe.  How amazing is that?

Charlie says it’s all Julia Gillard’s fault.  She cut funding to sport (apparently).  When I pointed out that if the athletes were good enough, the funding wouldn’t make that much of a difference, he said no: it’s still Big Jules fault.

Whatever.

We all find it easier to point the finger and blame someone, don’t we?  Personally, I blame every other nation out there (particularly GB, China, France, USA, Germany, Russia and Kazakhstan) for being better than us. 

If they sucked arse, we’d be fine.

What I’ve loved over the last few days, however, is seeing the true colours of some of our Australian athletes.  Take Matthew Watt, who won silver for the Long Jump.  His response to winning silver was awesome.  He went on about how proud he was to have won silver for his country, and anyone that complained about getting a silver or bronze needed to have a good look at themselves.  Good on ya champ.

After watching the hurdles with Sally Pearson (who was so happy when the results came through, that she collapsed!), the USA competitors that came second and third were hysterical with joy and pride.  And why the fuck wouldn’t you be?

Steve Solomon; the Aussie sprinter who qualified for the Men’s 400 meter final, came last in the medal race.  He came off the field banging on about his performance, and that he ran out of his skin, and how proud he was to be there, and how proud he was to even get into the finals.  He was gorgeous.  He’s only 19.  I hope he keeps that grateful attitude.  He’s a future champion, he is.

So, maybe it all comes back to attitude?  Maybe that’s the problem with our swim team? Maybe all they need is an attitude adjustment?

Magnusson declared that he had learnt a lot about himself after the 4 x 100 mens relay disaster. I don’t know how much you can learn about yourself in two days, just quietly, but apparently, he learnt something.

Honey, I think you and a few other athletes have a lot to learn about yourselves.

So, we’re languishing just outside the top ten, speedo’s around our ankles, as GB spanks our bare arses on the way to golden glory.

Yep.  Who’s laughing now?

Peace out.