Challenge: this
week’s challenge is to re-visit the wheel of life exercise from week 4 and
report the result.
Mmmm…
interesting one this one.
As
I look back at my wheel of life, I’m filled with a mixture of achievement and
disappointment. Some things I have
excelled at, some I have struggled, and some I have done fuck all about.
So
much for progress? J
So,
if I work my way around the wheel, this is where I feel I’m at.
Impeccable with my Word
I
felt that I had this under control. I
try very, very hard to be honest and respectful, and not be gossipy and
malicious. However, of recent months, I’ve
found myself slipping back into old habits.
Thankfully, I recognised this straight away, and pulled myself up.
You
know that I’m a believer of the ‘antenna’ theory. Your body is like a big antenna. If you turn the station to negativity, that’s
exactly what you will pick up. What you
send out, you get back.
I
have friends that spend their lives constantly complaining about their lot in
lives, their friends, their families, their frenemies and just about anything they
can fucken think of. And they wonder why
life isn’t moving in a positive direction for them! Fucken change the channel, get a grip, and
move on. Start thinking positively, and
start speaking positively. It will only
attract happiness.
That’s
what I am constantly reminding myself of every time I feel the negativity creep
in. Be impeccable with my word.
Assume Nothing
Well,
I’ve still got this one under control. I
fucken assume nothing, mainly cos I’m too frightened of fucking up! LOL! I figure that’s good enough motivation J
Don’t Take It Personally
I’ve
blogged about this fairly recently. Its’
something that I’m still really struggling with through different areas of my
life. However, a couple of recent ‘lessons’,
for want of a better word, have taught me about the value of not taking things
personally, and how if you do, it can really devastate your life.
For
someone that has suffered with depression for a very long time, and has managed
to keep it under control without medication, I find it’s the smallest things
that can trigger a major relapse.
These
recent ‘lessons’, one small and one quite major, have sent me reeling for very
different reasons. Both things seem to have
bought to light a fear of rejection/non-acceptance that I didn’t realise I was
carrying around, and another hit’s the ‘I’m not good enough’ button. Yep: that old chestnut.
Still
some work to be done here, I think, so I can’t confidently say that I could
move from 3 on the scale to 4 just yet.
Do Your Best
Always
do. I always try, and irrespective of
the job at hand, I give it my all.
Personal Development
This was very low on the Wheel scale, and I feel it may have only moved marginally. Although I haven’t yet undertaken the plethora of cooking courses that I wanted to this year, I have expanded my knowledge in other ways.
Health
and wellbeing are possibly the two things in which I’ve expanded my knowledge
considerably, as well as cooking. Reading,
watching programs, researching online and experimenting have seen my knowledge
in this area expand somewhat. I could
move from 2 to 3 quite confidently on this one.
In
saying that, I think some of my bigger plans may be starting to come to
fruition soon, so I could go from 2 to 5 in a heart beat if I stop hiding
behind my fears, and just fucken do shit.
Health and Fitness
I
would confidently move this mark from 3 to 5.
Without hesitation. I have hit
this full on this year, and my health and fitness have improved out of sight.
Sure;
it’s not perfect, but any means. However,
it’s a lot better than it was say, twelve months ago. I’m capable of doing things now that I never
dreamt of, and I’m eating far better than I have in the past.
Really
happy with the progress on this one.
Money Balance
Another
one that I feel I’m progressing very well with.
I’ve got my head around the money side of life, and I’m really not
stressing about it anywhere near as much as I use to.
Having
the money thing under control doesn’t mean, for me, that I’m rolling it
funds. What it means is that the funds I
have are under control. We’re living
within our means, and making progress with our mortgage.
What
more can I ask for? *to win Tattslotto!*
I
think it’s fair to move this one from 2 up to 5, as I’ve achieved the goals I set
with this one.
Home Life
Mmmm…
Charlie and I have done a lot of soul searching this year around the area of
our home life.
Jade’s
decision to move North to live with her mother has hit us both very hard, and
for very different reasons.
What
it’s also forced us to do is have a good look at each other, and the direction
we wish our lives, as a couple, to head in.
Jade’s
absence, although disappointing and quite heartbreaking really, also gives us
an opportunity to reconnect as a couple.
We’ve never known life without her.
It’s always been the three of us, and that in itself has been a constant
challenge, if not a battle.
Charlie
and I could wallow around in the self-pity that surrounds Jade’s decision to
leave, but what would that achieve? Jade
will move on with her life up in QLD, and are we expected to sit here and mourn
her loss?
Life
stops for no one, and I certainly know Jade won’t stop for us. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we
need to find the positive in the situation, and make the best of it.
The
wounds that Jade’s departure will leave behind present an opportunity for us to
nurture our relationship and each other.
It is an opportunity to grow.
Jade’s
decision, quite strangely, has also dropped a cloud of peace over the house as
well. It was like everyone was living in
fear of this inevitability, and now that it’s out in the open, everyone is
relieved. Does that make sense? It was like an unspoken wish for Jade, and
fear for Charlie and I. Now it’s out
there, we can deal with it, move through it, and move on.
Life
on the other side of this change will be very interesting, to say the least.
I
would move this mark from 3 to 4, simply because we’ve grown so much recently,
but there is still room for further growth.
So,
that’s where I am with my Wheel of Life at the moment. Still a lot of room for improvement, but upon
reflection, I can see where I’ve come a very long way.
Mmmm….
Peace
out.
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