WEEK 28 SYL CHALLENGE: CLEANING

Challenge for week 28: consider the three questions posted (see below) and see what you already do, what works for you and what does not.  If you have been struggling to keep up with someone else’s standard, you might rethink what your minimums are and what your aims are for each week.  If you have no routine at all, and hate operating like that, you might work out a plan and try that for a few weeks and see what works better for you. 

Gaaa… cleaning.  Got to be the job that we all hate the most.  Surely?

Years ago, I lived in a house that was a bombsite (which I’ve mentioned before).  I remember some of my cousins coming to visit, and they would cast a judgemental, critical eye over the place, which would cause me no end of embarrassment.

The house I lived in was messy through influences outside of my control, and I’ve ensure that from now on, my home is always clean.  Sure, it’s not perfect, but I don’t think any house really is.

This challenge is interesting for me, because it clearly shows me what my standards are, how I go about things (fucken begrudgingly) and what my routines are.

The one thing that shits me more than anything, is cleaning up after someone else.  I fucken hate it, to the point that I refuse to do it.

If Charlie and Jade have left something somewhere, i.e. a glass on a table, or cushions from the couch on the floor, then I will call them back and ask them to put the glass on the sink or cushions back where they found them.  In doing so, they have been taught to tidy up after themselves.  To a point.

My other favourite, is to pick up the stuff they have left lying around, and dump it in a place that’s inconvenient for them.  For example, if Charlie leaves paperwork all over the kitchen bench (pet hate), I pick it all up, and dump it in the middle of his desk.  He cracks the shits over it, to which my reply is ‘the kitchen bench is not a place for your fucken business paperwork.’

I’m a Nazi like that.

However, during the winter months, I simply give up on dusting.  I fucken hate dusting with a passion, and with a wood fire, you have more dust that you can handle.  No sooner have you wiped over the coffee table, it’s got a layer of dust on it again.  So, that gets abandoned for winter.

I have friends that clean constantly, every day.  Fuck that.  I’ve more important things to do with my time that clean every day.

In saying that, it doesn’t mean I don’t have minimum standards that do require addressing.

What is your minimum standard cleaning routine?

So, for me, I have to look at what I do on a daily/weekly basis to determine what my minimum standards are. 

Every day, I unload and reload the dishwasher. Goes without saying.  I clean down the kitchen benches before and after I cook.  Why before? Because I have cats in the house.  I can’t stop them from getting up on the benches whilst I’m at work, so I just friggin give it a quick wipe over before I start cooking.

In saying that, I never use chux or dish cloths.  Never.  They are filthy germ carriers (yes – the germaphobe comes out again).  I remember seeing an ad years ago on telly for paper towels, in which they hid a camera in the kitchen.  They filmed everything that happened to a dish cloth through the day.  The husband used it to clean up a spill on the floor.  The cat licked it. The kids used it for something else.  Then it was used to wipe benches.  Gross.  I remember freaking out so much, that I immediately threw all of the cloths out, drove down to the supermarket and invested in some paper towels and kitchen spray (and hand sanitiser).  Fuck that. 

At least people won’t get food poisoning from my kitchen benches.  Now, my cooking could be a different matter…

I wipe down the kitchen table every day.  Again, fucken cats and people mess.

I vac and mop the floors once a week.  This I don’t bust my nuts over, because I have cream tiles on the floors, and it shows up every mark.  I’m not running around with a broom and mop every day to hide the marks on the floor.  Fuck that.  I seriously don’t have time for it.  Once a week she gets an overhaul. That’s it.

I clean the toilets nearly every day.  Not hard.  I just use the White King Harpic shit on the bowl, which takes ten minutes to do its thing.  Flush and it’s clean.  Same as the shower. Spray it every day with windex shit.  Then, once a week I give the shower a blast of Bam, and clean the rest of the surfaces before I do the floor.

Washing is my thing.  This is where I have a massive routine.  I do loads on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays/Sundays.  If there’s not enough in the baskets, then the loads don’t get run.

However, with my linen, it’s a different story.  Every week, I strip the sheets, pillow cases.  I call these things the ‘bed undies’.  Into the washer, dryer and back onto the bed.  Then, every second week, I completely strip and change the quilt cover, the bed undies, the underlay and pillow protectors.  All washed, dried and back onto the bed with a different quilt set.  Nothing like climbing into a bed made with fresh linen, is there?

And yes: you read right.  I use a dryer.  I don’t have a clothes line, nor am I going to invest in one.  We had a shitty old one when we first moved here, and after doing one load, I never used it again.

You see, we live on a hill in the open.  I hung my washing out, and half of it blew off the line (it’s very windy here) and the rest was covered in friggin dust.  The whole lot had to be washed again.  Not to mention the fact that my undies blowing over into the Puckapunyal Army Base like a paratrooper, was not at all appealing *has this vision of big floral bloomers caught in the wind, sailing across the paddocks…*.

These would be my minimum requirements, I reckon.  Kitchen, bathrooms, toilets, linen and clothes.  Everything else can wait.

What is your cleaning approach?

I think I’ve hit most of that stuff above.  Within my minimum standards is my cleaning approach.  I’m not one for getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing shit.  If you keep on top of things, you should never have to do that.

Do you use any systems to save you time and effort with cleaning?

Yep.  The toilet and shower cleaner.  If I do a little bit every day, then maintaining it is so much easier.  Like I said; I’m not into scrubbing shit.  If I can keep it basically clean all the time, then giving it a good going over once a week does the job. 

Same as anything, really.  The main things that need most of the maintenance should have a little done on them every day.  Keeping things tidy and in their places makes cleaning easier too.  Leaving a pile of shit everywhere only leads to having to do a massive clean-up before you can even clean! 

Point in case: Jade’s bedroom.  Fuck me, she’s got shit everywhere.  She’s just lazy, and dumps stuff on the floor cos it’s easier.  EVERYTHING gets dumped on the floor, so the notion of cleaning her room is simply horrifying. 

However, as I said before; I don’t clean up anyone else’s mess.  I’m no servant.  My time is important to me, so if you make the mess; you clean it up.

I don’t understand why she insists on making it harder on herself.  Maybe it’s the victim coming out in her?  The harder she makes it for herself, the more self-pity.  However, I like to think she’s just a lazy teenager.

So, as much as I feel I have a cleaning routine rolling, there are certainly things that are far from perfect in my house.  Jade’s bedroom being one thing, but that’s something that will get tackled in the not too distant future.

My windows are another thing. I couldn’t tell you the last time I cleaned them outside! Omg! They’re horrendous.  However, my house is not a display home, so I’ll get to them one day.

My BBQ is another thing that’s screaming for attention.  Fuck, it’s feral at the moment.  So feral, that it’s something only a high pressure cleaner will fix! LOL!  I use to be really good with my BBQ.  I would clean it as soon as I used it, but I’ve become lazy.  Promise to self: treat the BBQ with more respect this summer.  I think the BBQ will be this weekend’s project.

So, although cleaning is something that all of us hate, it’s a necessary evil I guess.  I think that if you tackle a little bit at a time, like cleaning benches and tables, washing certain things on certain days, and so on, you make the job a lot easier.  You’re not having to spend the entire weekend cleaning; just an hour of it, maybe.

I can’t wait until I pay off my house.  I’m getting a fucken cleaner.

Yeah.

Peace out.