HOW MUCH?

So, Charlie and I are driving back from Kyneton about 9.30pm last night.

It was a nice, clear evening, albeit unusually cold for summer, and we were just cruising along the gently winding road that leads back to Heathcote.

It’s a dangerous time to drive out there, because in a heartbeat a kangaroo can appear in your headlights, and it’s game on.

However, what appeared in our headlights this night was somewhat unexpected…

As we rounded a bend, our lights fell on something in the middle of the road ahead of us.  Charlie threw out the anchors, and as we got closer, we could see that it was a sheep!  Just a random sheep in the middle of the road at 9.30 at night; standing there looking at us. 

I had visions that some kind of urban legend shit was about to go down, but the sheep had clearly escaped its paddock, and was just wandering aimlessly…

As we got a few meters away from it, it wandered off the road and Charlie wound down the window.

Now, at this point of the story, I shall digress a moment, and tell you a little something about Charlie and sheep.

You’ve all heard the jokes about New Zealanders, and their ‘fondness’ for sheep, right?  We’ll, we use to have sheep, and Charlie use to call them his ‘girls’.   My friends/family/anyone with a pulse would give Charlie shit about his love for his ‘girls’.

For example, if he said he was going out to feed them, I would offer him my gum boots, because he used to joke that if you shoved their back legs into the gumboots whilst you were wearing them, they couldn’t escape, and you could have your way with them.

We’d throw all sorts of jokes at him about it, and he would just laugh and crank it up a few notches.  Always the smart arse.

So, it came as no surprise that last night when Charlie wound down his window and yelled out to the sheep ‘How much?’ as we slowly drove by.

I near broke a rib laughing and Charlie just smiled as the sheep disappeared into the shrubbery.

‘Fuck ya then!’ Charlie yelled, pretending to be offended.  ‘Cock tease!’ and off we went.

This is the clown I live with.

Woolly peace out.