A 'TRADIE' IS THE NEW BLACK

OMG girls!

Forget everything your mama ever told you about marrying men.  Forget about doctors, lawyers and decent men that hold down a good office job.

A tradie is the new black.

The ‘must have’ accessory for the modern woman.

You see, studies have shown that a tradie now earns more than a white collar worker (office job, retail manager, etc).  A tradie now earns, on average, $1200 per week, where a white collar worker earns around $1000.

How the tables have turned!

Years ago, tradies were overlooked at ‘lower class’.  You didn’t snare yourself a tradie unless you were desperate, or felt sorry for them.  If you couldn’t land yourself a doctor or lawyer, you grabbed yourself the security of a business executive.

Now; forget all that!  Get your manicured hands on a tradie girls, cos they’re a catch!

And let’s be honest: when you think of a tradie, you think about a strapping young man, with bulging muscles and tattoos, all accented with beautiful, fluro yellow safety vests. 

If you have to call in a tradie to fix something, you pray it’s gonna be a hot day so he’ll be sadly forced to take off his shirt, revealing his ripped torso; sweat glistening in the sun.  This will unfortunately force you to call all of your girlfriends around for a cuppa at that very moment.

Gives me flashbacks to the diet coke ads of the 90’s.  Yeah…..

This, of course, presents another problem.  Now that tradies are at the popular end of the social ladder, what about all of us girls that hold down white collar jobs?  Suddenly… we’re not looking like such an attractive package anymore.

What if tradies don’t want to be associated with white collar girls?  What if they want the doctors, lawyers and high flighing executives?  What if they want the supermodels, ex-WAGS, and famous people, and we’re not good enough?

OMG…. I’m so lucky I snagged Charlie when I did.  To think that eleven years ago, when I met him, I was doing him a favour.  He was so lucky to have someone as awesome as me in the first place, let alone a successful white collar worker.  He was so lucky!  Or so I thought!

Imagine if he had discovered this social revolution a few years ago? I may not have me a tradie!  Oh no!  He may have dumped me for some retired AFL footballer’s skanky ex-wife that looks more like a $2 steak house hooker than a supermodel.

He would have thought she was better than me, because he’s a tradie. 

OMG! If I let him out of the house on his own now, he’ll have white collar worker women and supermodels throwing themselves at his rippling (old man) muscles all day!  OMG!

What am I to do?  I think that maybe I need to throw in my job, and go and get myself a trade, so I’m looking like the fashionable, attractive package that I use to be before this social upheaval occurred.

OMG! Kill me now!

Oh dear…. I think I’ll go into the kitchen and cook him up a massive feast for dinner tonight.  That way, if my pathetic, lower class career is not good enough for him, at last my cooking will impress him.

Peace out?