FERALS ON HOGS

What I have learnt from watching Bikie Wars: Brothers In Arms:

1.                   A ‘one percenter’ is a member of an outlaw motorcycle club.

2.                  The term ‘outlaw’ does not refer to criminal behaviour, but means that the club is not associated with the AMA (American Motorcycle Association).

3.                  You must have a mullet, a beard, tattoos and like wearing denim and leather.

4.                  You must like titties or showing your titties (in the case of bikie moles).

Did anyone watch this show the other night?

It’s Channel 10’s version of Underbelly, which from the opening credits, appears to ‘look’ and ‘feel’ the same.  Makes sense considering half the Underbelly cast is in it, and the writers/creators of Underbelly are behind it.

‘I wonder if I’ll see any tits?’ Charlie asked as the opening credits were rolling.

‘I don’t think it’s a matter of if, Charlie,’ I replied.  ‘It’s a matter of when and how many.’

A couple of minutes and lots.  *rolls eyes*

Why don’t they show more doodle and arse for the women watching these shows, I ask you?  pffft… When I see these young girls titties, all I end up feeling is depressed because theirs are sitting where they should be, not around their waist, like mine are.

Another one of Charlie’s opening comments was ‘So we’ll settle into another series that has more ads than substance.’

Right again.

I swear, I’ve never seen an ad on tv for a motorbike before.  Cars, yes.  Caravans, yes.  Boats, yes.  Motorbikes? I can’t remember any….

However, in saying that, I now want a Spyder Roadster.  Charlie said that if you were a serious motorcyclist (or a member of a gang), and you saw a Spyder coming toward you, you’d just laugh.  He said it’s a girls bike.

Daa… that’s why I want one.

So, Bikie Wars. 

Tits, violence and alcohol combined with denim, beards, bikes and mullets.  Throw in a cool rock soundtrack, and that pretty much sums it up.

Awesome television. 

However, in reality; not so awesome.  If anything; it’s shameful.

Sure, they try to convince us they’re not violent; they try to convince us that they’re not running a criminal empire that generates nearly as much profit one of the big-four banks (there are currently nearly one hundred bikies in the NSW penal system); and they try to convince us they’re not bludgers or rorting welfare.

Yeah.  Right.

Bikie Wars is a six-part mini-series, based around the 1984 Father’s Day massacre in Milperra, where rival gangs the Banditos and the Comancheros engaged in what law enforcement at the time simply labelled ‘war’.

According to Wikipedia (yeah I know – not totally reliable) the founder of the Comancheros (Jock Ross) and one of the members (Snoddy Spencer) had a falling out, which resulted in Spencer branching out and forming a second chapter of the Comancheros.  After visiting the US, Spencer met members of the Texas motorcycle club, the Banditos, and became allies.  Eventually, the Banditos patched-over (took over) the second Comancheros chapter, becoming the first Australian chapter of the Banditos.

As a result, the two Australian gangs became violent enemies, and it all came to a head in 1984.  The violence that ensued that day saw 6 bikies and an innocent 14 year old girl killed, and about 28 other people injured.

I think, for the public, this event cemented the negative stigma that follows bikie gangs around like a bad smell.  It confirmed what everyone believed these gangs to be; violent thugs.

You’ve gotta admit that when you see a bikie; you wonder.  That little thrill of fear ripples through you, because the names on the back of their vests are so familiar.  Hells Angels, Comancheros, Banditos, Rebels… the list goes on.

I believe that every year, the Hells Angels do a road trip with stuffed toys and the like for one of the Children’s Hospital, as a special charity event.  Yeah.  That’ll soften your image, fellas.

So, after watching the first episode of Bikie Wars: Brothers In Arms, I find it addictive.  I’m totally fascinated about the bohemian lifestyles that these people lead.  How brazen they are; how secretive.

Remember, what happens in a bikie gang, stays in a bikie gang.  They handle their own internal issues themselves, thank you very much.

A law unto themselves.

The law of the one percenters.

So, we have to keep watching now, not only because we’re already hooked, but because Charlie and I have a little competition going to see how many ‘titty exposures’ we can count per episode.  I lost count after about twenty in the first episode…

Just as its predecessor (the Underbelly series) has done, Bikie Wars: Brothers In Arms exposes the seedy aspect of our society; warts and all.  That’s what make is so addictive; the fact that it’s so far removed from our ‘normal’ lives, it’s shocking. 

After all of the Underbelly dramas, I wonder if we’re becoming desensitized now.  It’s all much of the same, isn’t it?  This is just another drama full of violence, sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, and in the end, they all lose.  Insert Harley Davisons, and you’re on it.

Now, when you walk down Lygon Street, you wonder how many of the Carlton Crew or Sunshine Boys are floating around out there. 

After watching Bikie Wars, I can guarantee you’ll be looking at those mullet wearing, leather clad, patched denim-vested hog riders through very different eyes.

Get on it peeps; it’s worth the ride.

Peace out.