THE BIGGEST LOSER FINALE

You know what’s crushing to hear?

Your fifteen year old step-daughter say ‘I’m not being mean when I say this, Lee, but have you thought of entering The Biggest Loser?’

Are you fucking kidding me?  How big do you think I am?

Excuse me a moment whilst I rip the knife out of my chest, you fucken knucklehead!

Of course, Jade didn’t mean anything by this comment.  She knows that I’ve been exercising, dieting and losing weight.  She understands that I’m trying to change my life for the better.

That’s what these people on The Biggest Loser are there for, aren’t they?  To change their lives for the better?

I get where she sees the similarities, but she clearly has no idea how much I weigh (and never fucking will after that comment).

So I calmly explain that applying for The Biggest Loser is not high on my list of priorities at the moment.  In fact, it would be a cold day in hell before I signed up for any shit like that.

Jesus…

So another big ratings monster for Channel 10 came to a close last night, much to the entertainment of Jade and my fatty self.

I picked it weeks ago that Margie would win; her drive, her determination and her game playing were going to pay off for her.

Would have been nice for Alex to win, though.  The old bloke takes them all out!  Would have been awesome.  My God he’s lost some weight… and so has my favourite, Graham.  78 kilos or something!  That’s like an entire person! Incredible effort.

And what transformations!  Even that lazy-arsed Selena has lost about 32 kilos.  That was an incredible effort! 

James, Bek, Kasey, Lydia and Brenda were almost unrecognisable.

However, I would like to know when The Biggest Loser suddenly switched to Australian Idol?  Did they really need Michelle to sing ‘Born To Try’?  Sure; beautiful voice.  But… really?

You know what’s amazing though?  She’s such a pretty girl.  Such a beautiful voice.  The whole package. What a wonderful platform for her… and having a great ‘friendship’ with Hamish didn’t draw her any extra attention at all, did it?

Oh sorry.  I’m being sarcastic again, aren’t I?  *rolls eyes* 

Well, I hope her singing career takes off, and she enjoys performing for large groups of retirees on the Sea Princess for weeks on end, with James along for the ride, playing the piano and smiling with those ridiculously white teeth.  Eeek.

This is why I would not be entering The Biggest Loser.  Bitches like me that pick the shit out of the screamingly obvious, because what I’m watching has been manufactured by some fat-cat in an office somewhere, who’s playing God for ratings, and catering to my superficial expectations.

This shit ain’t real.

Though, in saying that; every single person that was on that show has won.  Yes, I know it’s very cliché, but they’ve got their lives back. 

They’re healthy, fitter and look really good.  The biggest fella, who’s name escapes me, that topped the scales at a whopping 241 kilos, has done well to get down to 186.  That’s still a frightening figure, but much better than what he was.  Seems to be on the right track now.

And how hot did the trainers look?  Of course they would scrub up pretty, but wow!  I did fear Michelle Bridges was going to fall out of the top of her white dress though, but in saying that, you would possibly have to have something to fall out...

And of course, The Commando.  Mmmm… mmmm….mmmm… I could break me off a piece of that…. nom nom nom… I’ll be happy to ‘hug’ him…

The thing I love about this show, however, is that it brings to light the fact that it’s not just ‘overeating’ that causes people’s lives to derail like this.  Over eating or poor diet is just a symptom of something much deeper. 

Some people drink or take drugs to cope with some of the stresses or traumas in their lives.  Other people eat. 

I once read a statistic somewhere that suggested that 75% of overweight women are victims of some kind of abuse, whether sexual, emotional or physical.  15% have a metabolic problem, and the remaining 10% actually have a poor diet.

It’s sad that when we look at an obese person, we automatically think that it’s directly caused by food.  In more cases than often, it’s not entirely the problem.

Carrying extra weight is about protection.  These people are protecting themselves from past hurts, and the food helps them do that.

It’s like when you get a cold.  Sneezing and coughing is just a symptom of a virus in your system.  So, you take medication to fix the virus, and the symptoms go away.

Once you find the cause of these peoples hurts; once you find the ‘key’, they can unlock their fears and pain, and let them go.  Then, they can finally start to heal.

That’s what’s happened to the people on The Biggest Loser.  They found their keys, and now their lives are transformed.

There are no ‘losers’ on this show.  None at all.

Peace out.