So,
this week’s challenge is about understanding our happiness.
I
find it funny that some of these challenges seem to come along at a
coincidental time. Not that I believe in
coincidence: everything happens for a reason.
However, there have been instances where things are going on in my life
that align with these challenges, and this is one such instance.
Defining
happiness. What makes me happy? Can I control what makes me happy? Am I the creator of my own ‘happiness’?
Or
is ‘my happy’ about avoiding ‘sad’?
Or,
am I just over thinking it? J
I
think I’m a similar to Deb, the creator of this 52 week challenge, in that, to
understand what makes me happy, I need to define what makes me sad. Does that make sense?
Let
me give you an example.
For
the last six months, I’ve been planning a sausage sizzle at Bunning’s in
Craigieburn for my CWA branch.
My
girlfriend Carmel
and I have only been members of this branch for about 18 months; we’re pups in
the CWA scene! Most of the other members
are 70 plus in age, and their ideas are steeped in traditions and habits; not
that there’s anything wrong with that.
However,
with new members comes the suggestion of change, and such is the case for Carmel and I, and the
Tooby CWA.
We
suggested doing a sausage sizzle at Bunning’s in an attempt to raise more
funds. The more funds we raise, the more
we can pump into our local community.
The other members of the branch were incredibly supportive, and very
trusting in letting us do this.
Due
to their age, the majority of the members are restricted as to what they could
do, which Carmel
and I perfectly understand. We would
never put forward something so massive (in our branch’s eyes, anyway) if we
weren’t prepared to do the hard yards ourselves. As such, the majority of the work fell back
on Carmel and
I.
Six
months of planning and research went into this venture. Seems strange, doesn’t it? It’s only a sausage sizzle, after all. However, with two friends that do them on a
regular basis, raising well over $1000 each time, we felt that their guidance
and advice would be invaluable to us.
Every
time I went to a Bunning’s store, I would go on a stakeout. I would buy a snag, stand near the stall, and
eat it (and make Charlie do the same!), whilst all the time watching what the
stall operators would do. It was very
easy to learn what was effective and efficient, and what wasn’t.
Seems
like overkill, for sure, but there was a lot riding on Carmel’s and my shoulders. We had asked the ladies of the CWA to step
outside of their comfort zone, and completely trust us with this venture. If it failed, not only would we have let
ourselves down, but these beautiful ladies as well. Their faith in us would surely be tested.
On
a personal level, I’ve been so excited about this venture for months. We had all of the boxes ticked, and were ready
to rock and roll. The thought of failure
never entered my mind. Never.
Until
two days before the event.
On
Friday, I posted a status on my Facebook, asking anyone if they were in the
area, to call in and have a snag to support the event. Simple enough post, to
which I really didn’t expect much of a result, but you never know.
That’s
when my positive resolve was completely shattered.
A
family member posted that it a Bunning’s BBQ was a complete waste of time. She had done it in conjunction with a footy
club, and had raised a pittance. She
simply felt it was a complete waste of time.
I
was devastated.
I
read her comments, and simply exploded in tears! I was so upset! I couldn’t
believe I’d just received such a massive kick in the guts to a request for
charitable support! All the confidence I
had built up over the past months, all of the anxiety curbing reassurances had
just flown out the window.
This
shit happens to me all the time!
Correction: I allow this shit to happen to me all the time! I permit myself to be happy; to build up
confidence and be excited about something, and the universe conspires to burst
my bubble!! FUCK!!!
Now,
this family member would have had no idea of the impact of her words. None at all.
I have no doubt that in her own mind, she was trying to help me. However, her words were like a wrecking ball.
I
had a mild anxiety attack, and even after the reassurance of my understanding
friends, I was very unsettled on the day of trade.
However,
my nerves were abated as the day simply became busier and busier. I spent the entire day cooking snags and
onions, and throwing them at bits of bread that Carmel held out to me.
It
was a roaring success that netted quite a substantial amount for the CWA. What a difference we will be able to make
with that money.
I
reflect on it now, and I can’t believe what I’ve allowed to happen. Someone else’s negative view on a situation
has completely influenced me, to a point where, not only has it had a physical
and emotional effect on me, but a mental one too. It changed my outlook on everything.
And
I do this shit time and time again. Yes:
a recurring pattern.
I
learnt so much from the experience, but most importantly, that one person’s
negative experience isn’t a clear indication of reality. What happens to you won’t necessarily happen
to me.
What
I also learnt, was that some people are just plain negative. They seem to have these… glasses on, that
have ‘negative’ lenses in them, and all they see in the world is negativity.
My
husband is very much like this. He has a
negative outlook on life, which is strange for someone that’s also very
positive. Quite contradictory, actually,
but that’s what he’s like. One minute,
he can be surprisingly thoughtful, and the next; very harsh and judgemental,
and often unnecessarily so.
Mmmm…
negativity. Wha specifically brings me
down? What is it that I allow to let in, that makes me sad:
·
Peoples
constant negative outlook
·
Their lack of
appreciation for what they have, and winging about what they do not
·
Unnecessary
judgement
·
Forceful
opinions and views
·
Forever
criticising
·
Their
inability to be happy about someone else’s successes and rewards
·
An
unacknowledged need to spoil someone’s happiness
·
Lack of
support
These
are the things that tie themselves around my heart like an anchor, and drag me
under; back into the depths of depression.
That’s
what happened to me a couple of days ago when I read that status comment; I was
under so quickly, that it shocked even me.
My emotional reaction was astonishing.
I
suppose this harkens back to another one of my challenges, in that I have to
focus on not taking things personally.
Like I said before; just because it failed for someone else, doesn’t
mean that will be my story. We’re all
different.
Perhaps
it’s another indication that I have to separate myself from other people’s
comments and issues, and remember that it’s their journey, and not to take it
personally. They can wear their negative
glasses; I’ll be fine without them.
In
saying that, I’m a firm believer in what you send out, you receive back
threefold. This year I have tried really
hard to focus on pushing out as much real positive energy as I possibly can,
because I believe I will receive it back in return.
How
can that be a bad thing?
However,
there are always people that come into your life, and influence it in a
negative way, no matter what you do. They
chip away at the armour of happiness you wear, just because they can neither
relate to it nor stand it. They don’t
even know that they have to burst your
bubble; it’s an unconscious thing.
When
I stop and think about it; I have a lot of these types of people in my life
really…
So,
one key to my happiness is not letting any of these negative flags drag me
down. Don’t take things personally. Don’t let that negativity seep in, because
where it takes me, is not a place I wish to go again. Ever.
The
other thing I’ve learnt recently is that one of the things that makes me
extremely happy, is cooking. More
specifically; cooking for others.
I’ve
known this for a long time, but I’ve really felt it hit home over recent
months.
I
loved spending the day behind the BBQ on Sunday, with my snags and onions,
churning out some yummy food for people to enjoy. Forget that we were fundraising; I was having
a great time! So did everyone that came
along to help, too. It was a great day!
I
think if you’re enjoying yourself and having a good time, people pick up on
it. Maybe the positivity we were pushing
out came back to us through the cash tin? *shrugs* Who knows?
Throughout
last week, I’d also partaken in a Group Conference for CWA, where I was
responsible for catering and running the kitchen. All of the ladies produced some wonderful
food, and I produced some of the best shit I had ever cooked in my life. It looked beautiful, and went down a treat,
and we all had so much fun doing it.
Again, the positive energy we generated was returned to us through
appreciation from our guests. That was a
great reward. They will all be keen to
come to our function again, which in turn means we will have the opportunity to
raise more funds.
This
week’s experiences just reaffirmed for me that the direction in which I wish to
take my life in, is the right one.
I’ve
just got to focus long term, and make it happen.
I’ve
got to focus, and not take things personally.
I’ve
got to focus, and control the impact of negativity, by not letting it in.
I’ve
got to focus, and secure and expand my happiness.
There
are many other things that contribute to my happiness, but this blog will go on
forever if I start rambling about them.
You basically get the drift by what I’ve written so far.
Life
is full of experiences and lessons; we ALL need to take the positive from
everything and learn from it.
Peace
out.
The black and white one is Barney. He's 15 years old, and is by far the most affectionate of the three. He is generally referred to as Boo, and is nothing but a pat slut. He's such a beautiful nature, and is very gentle and loving. He also has Charlie absolutely wrapped around his little paw. The grey one is Forrest. Forrest is a girl (who we originally thought was a boy). She was named so because she loves to run and run. She's also 15 and is just adorable. She too is very affectionate, but skittish and shy. When she was a kitten, she was snooping around the shopping bags and got stuck in one of them. Never recovered from it. Now, if you even rustle a bit of plastic, she shits herself and runs. She's old and drools (hilarious) but like Boo, is a beautifully naturd cat. The third one is the newest addition to the family: Milo. He's a pure bred seal point rag doll, that my friend Sandy gave me. She's a breeder, and Milo was a 'reject'. He was sick when he was little, and it interrupted his toilet training. Rag dolls are specifically bred for indoors only, but Milo kept having 'accidents' around the house, and was returned to Sandy by the people who purchased him. Sandy faced the choice of putting him down (because he had been de-sexed and she couldn't breed from him or show him), or finding an 'outdoor' home for him. What better place for him than Allenbee Fields. The thing about ragdolls though, is that they talk. A lot. He drives us mad, but when you talk back to him, he loves it. He follows you around the yard when you're gardneing or working, and chats away. Just a beautiful personality.
Well, this is a snap of my calendar for February. Thought it fitting to publish the month that related to this photographic challenge. Pretty good month, really. Had the conference for CWA and the Bunnings Sausage Sizzle for CWA, osteo appointment, got my hair done, Charlie had golf, lunch with friends, visiting family, Jade is currently at a horse show, and Charlie and I went to the movies last night (saw Contraband - pretty good). 
