SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES?

So, if nothing else, the last week has taught me that a couple of people are suspicious of my intentions toward my beloved husband, Charlie-Albert.

You see, apparently, buying him a ‘Shark Walk’ experience through the Melbourne Aquarium has had some people question whether I’m actually trying to provide him with an experience from his bucket list, or kill him.

I don’t know whether to be horrified at the accusation, or flee for being found out!

:D

Anyway, Charlie-Albert turned 45 last week; my old man.  Earlier this year, The Buttler’s went to the Melbourne Aquarium for something to do, and we saw people in the huge tanks, walking with the sting rays, sharks and all other groovy looking fishies.  Right then and there, I thought ‘I’m going to get that for Charlie-Albert for his birthday! YEAH!’ 

He’s right into scuba diving, and is going to go for his diving licence (or something) later this year.  Bazaar for a man that lives in North Central Victoria, NO WHERE NEAR any bodies of water, to want to do the scuba thing, but whatever.  As long as he’s happy.  We all have dreams.

Iris said to me the other week that she didn’t know what to get Char for his birthday, so, we went halvies in this Shark Walk experience for him.

He was so happy with the present, he took his pants off.  He was out of control. 

Me, being totally in control and calm at all times, couldn’t wait to give him the present, and so we gave it to him the day before his birthday.  I was so excited, I nearly peed myself!

So Sunday rolls around; the day of the Shark Walk.  During the morning, Char’s on the phone to his Auntie in Kyneton, and tells her about the whole thing.  She says to him ‘I’d be worried about the type of soap that Lee’s giving you to wash yourself with.  It may have something in it that attracts sharks!’ and pisses herself laughing.

Damn.  Found out on that one.

So then I put on Facebook that I’m going to ‘throw Charlie in a tank of sharks at the Melbourne Aquarium’ and one of my peeps says ‘long overdue’.

Now I’m starting to think that people are not only suspicious of me, but have expected it for a while!!!

Forget that I’m running around after him all morning, whilst he’s getting ready, spraying him with shark attracting spray.  That has nothing to do with it!

Mortified at these accusations.  Totally mortified!

When we get to the big smoke, we park at the Exhibition Centre, and walk past Crown and across to the aquarium from there.  It was such a beautiful day!  However, it was a real challenge walking through the Exhibition Centre, because they were holding the Fashion Exposed, Bags and Accessories, and Shoe Exhibition.  Charlie literally dragged me past them, which I thought that was really selfish, quite frankly.  It’s not all about him, you know…

Once we got past that MAJOR hurdle and were strolling along the Crown promenade, every minute or so, I would ask ‘Are you excited?’ to which he would sigh and say ‘Yes dear.’  Hahahhaaa…

So we get to the Aquarium, and Charlie goes off for his briefing on the dive thing, and Jade and I wander into the aquarium.  After she physically drags me away from the penguins, we find our way to the big circular tanks, and wait for him to jump in.  It was the longest ½ hour of my effing life. 

Right on time, the ladder comes down from the tank roof, and the dive instructor comes down, followed by Charlie-Albert (and some other dude that I totes don’t give a shit about).

As soon as his feet his the sandy bottom of the tank, he turned around and looked for us, and smiled and waved excitedly.  I nearly peed and dropped the phone which was recording everything.  A little kid in front of me, who looked about five, waved at Charlie, and Char gave him the ‘thumbs up.’  The kid that all his Christmas’s had come at once!

For 20 minutes, Charlie walked around the tank and swam with the fishes.  He got a face plant by a massive sting ray which took quite a liking to him (only human) and glided over his helmet and arms.  Charlie said that was a trip; like fingers gripping and dragging across his arm. 

My shark attracting spray failed (possibly didn’t help that he was in a wetsuit, and the spray was all over his clothing), to which my friend later commented that ‘the sharks had let us all down today’. 

Sharks, eels, sting rays, and other awesome fish swam all around him, and he had the time of his life.  I’m sure he could have stayed there for hours.

Me, I was busy elbowing my way through the crowd so I could film it all.  A few times I actually shoved people out of the way that stepped in front of me.  I said to one woman ‘Excuse me.  Can I just get through…’ and she snapped ‘No.  I was here first.’  To which, I politely replied ‘You may have been standing there first, but I have paid $200 to see my husband in that tank.  Get out of my fucking way.’  She moved. 

Finally, Charlie turned to me and pointed to the sky, indicating it was time for him to go.  First in the tank, first out. He climbed part way up the ladder, and the instructor tapped his leg and told him to turn and wave at the people watching.  The little kids went nuts.  The awesome diver waved at them.  Totes cool.

Whilst we was waiting for Charlie to shower and change, we went through the gift shop and bought him a little hammerhead shark plush toy for him to keep, and remember this awesome adventure.

When he came out, he was like a fat kit that had been given the keys to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory; totes excited and talking at a million miles an hour.

T’was awesome.

On the way home, he fell asleep in the car.  Bless his little heart, he was pooped.  Lots of excitement for one day.

Happy birthday Charlie-Albert.