MASTERCHEF ADS

So, the ads for the new Masterchef season have started, and they’re already shitting me.

What’s with the weird Russian sounding music?

What’s with the fantasy theme? 

Who is that chick, and why does she feature so strongly in their advertising?  She caught a fish, but clearly can’t cook it, because it looked raw to me.

‘That’s how I like my trout…’ she declared.  Really?  If that’s the case, you’d possibly be dead from food poisoning, you clown.

Christ, I hope you never cook for me.

She’s already annoying me.  I wonder if she’s the new Dani?  Or the new Marion, who everyone falls in love with because she’s so perfect, but crashes and burns on something simple like a satay sauce.

Pffftt…

And is it just me, or do the judges look a little thinner?  Dieting or a long-lensed camera?

I wonder if Curtis Stone will be back.  I hope not.  That horrendous ad with Normie Rowe was enough to put me off him and Coles for a while.

I hope Matt Moran is back, because he’s like the nicest person on earth, and I already miss Anna Gare, even though she’s in the kiddy version of the show.

I wonder what ridiculous international challenges they’ll wheel out this season.  I wonder if they’ll listen to their audience, and spend more time in the Masterchef kitchen, and less time jetting around the planet carrying out seemingly pointless challenges.

I wonder if they’ll get Merle Parrish back to participate in an immunity challenge again.  She whipped Billy’s arse last season, and now has a best-selling cookbook out there.

http://www.angusrobertson.com.au/book/merles-kitchen/27415431/

Yours for just $34.99 plus postage and handling.

I wonder what the future will bring this season’s competitors.  The opportunity to design a special menu for Noodle Box (Adam Liow)? Funky pizza for Pizza Hut (Aaron)? Produce your own packaged meals (Jimmy and Marion)? TV shows like Julie Goowin, Poh and Justine Sheofield?  Who knows?

I wonder what creations Adriano Zumbo will throw at them.  Or all of the other awesomely impressive internationally famous chefs, like Heston Blumenthal, Tetsuya, Stephanie Alexander, Maggie Beer, Donna Hay and Pete Gilmore, just to mention a few.

I hope they’ll have the predictable competitors they usually do.  The token mum, yuppie, gay Asian, funky young chick, annoyingly competitive person that’s ‘here to change my life’, the hot surfer dude, people with funky glasses, drama queens and people that cry at the drop of a hat.

I can’t wait to find out.

Boom! Boom! Shake the room!

Peace out.