THE STANDARDS OF 'CURRENT AFFAIRS'

What the hell has happened to our ‘current affairs’ shows?

Seriously?

Gone are the days of hard hitting journalism and ambulance chasing excitement.  Where are the reporters that burst into the ‘dodgy-bad-guys’ office and demanded answers?  Where are the reporters that were seeking justice for the underdog? Why aren’t reporters chasing these said bad guys down the street as they drive off any more? 

What happened to the notion that if people were exposed on A Current Affair or Today Tonight that the truth would prevail, and justice for ‘the little guy’ would be done?

Instead of interesting journalism that exposes the baddies, or interviews with our nation’s leaders that introduce us to a different point of view, we’re being subjected to cheap self-promotion, product placement and pathetic slanging matches between stations.

It’s all about the ratings.

I tuned off these so called current affairs shows many years ago, because they’re just fucken ridiculous now.  The seemingly informative and fair presentations of stories have been replaced by this vitriol that’s guided by someone’s skewed sense of morality and justice.

*Insert fluff article about 3D televisions and convenient interview with Gerry Harvey, who just happened to be the only distributor of them at the time.  Lucky he was there to set us straight… *

The lines are becoming so blurred that pretty soon we’ll be getting up to make a cuppa during the actual show, and sitting down to watch the fucken ads! 

And if it’s not product promotion, it’s self-promotion!

You would think the way that Channel 9 is carrying on, that The Voice was God’s gift to Australia.  No; it’s God’s gift to Channel 9, and they’re milking it for everything its worth.

Is Australia really that desperate to know what’s happening on The Voice that they need an update on it during A Current Affair? It is A Current Affair, is it not?  Surely the name implies a show that talks about ‘current affairs’? 

One could argue that The Voice is a current topic of discussion throughout the southern hemisphere, but surely there is something of more importance happening in the world that could fill the five minutes of airtime that this pathetic attempt at self-approbation is occupying? 

And now this need for self-promotion is spreading like a cancer to other shows under the Channel 9 umbrella.  Case in point: the Today Show.

I love the Today Show.  Actually, that’s not accurate.  I am comfortable with the Today Show, as it forms a part of my morning routine.  It keeps me company as I faff around eating my breakfast and getting ready for work.

So, just when I think Carl and Lisa really couldn’t get any more arrogant or annoying, they up the stakes by banging on incessantly about The Voice.  They crap on about the wonderful performances, hair, clothes, judges, blaa blaa blaaa… in a desperate attempt to convince us that they actually watched the show this week as opposed to the reality that someone briefed them in ‘makeup’ before they walked on set.

Wednesdays are the worst.  The day after The Voice airs.  Before and after nearly every fucken commercial break, they cut to or away from a clip of the previous night’s performances, and then it starts.

I seriously feel like emailing into them with the suggestion to shut the fuck up and give me the state of the nation, for Christ sake.  I need to know what the weather is going to be like so I know what to wear, what gossip is going down in Hollywood and what the traffic’s like on the Ring Road. The odd political update wouldn’t go astray either.  Just fucken get on with it.

If that’s not enough make you want to smash your telly, we now have our nation’s current affair ‘giants’ slugging it out over a prostitute who clearly has more customers through her gates than the MCG, because she can’t remember what they look like.

A Current Affair tells us a month ago that they’ve secured an interview with a hooker that swears she’s knocked off Craig Thompson, MP.  One minute she was paid for the interview, and then when it affecting the ratings and ‘looks bad’ (God forbid), she apparently wasn’t. 

Isn’t this the same interview that never made it to air?

Now, a month later, a woman alleging to be the A Current Affair prostitute sticks her head up on Today Tonight, declaring that she’s had a case of mistaken identity and she doesn’t think she knocked off Thommo after all!  Clearly the turnstile are spinning so much that everything’s just a blur.

So A Current Affair has jumped out of the blocks saying ‘We’ve got you Thommo! Cop this!’ and Today Tonight’s hit back with ‘You reckon? Well how’s them apples?’ and in the middle of it, Craig Thompson MP is looking like a douche, and some happy slapper from New Zealand has had to recant her story because her loose lips (pardon the pun) have caused the turnstiles to stop spinning, and her flowing income to run dry (again, pardon the pun).

How on earth does this school yard bullshit provide us with any decent television?  The truth, if you would call it that, is lost in the midst of this incestuous battle for current affair supremacy. 

And idiots out there fuel it by not only watching, but believing.

Here’s a thought; what if A Current Affair and Today Tonight have colluded on this story?  What if they’re struggling in the ratings (I have no idea if they are or not) and they’ve got together and planned the whole thing?

Half of the team at A Current Affair use to work at Today Tonight, and visa-versa.  They’re all a pack of inbred animals trying to save themselves from obscurity, and the truth is the price that’s paid.

How can we rely on this form of media for the truth, when it can be so sacrificial?

I’m sticking to The Project on Channel 10.  Pushing aside their fucken leftist, tree-hugging views, they spew up a pretty good show.  Its light, it’s entertaining and at times, quite serious. 

If they fucked off that moron Hughesy, I’d be happier.

Perhaps these other travesties to the current affair genre can take a leaf out of The Project’s book before they turn into an Australian version of The Jerry Springer Show.

Not everything can be taken on face value anymore; remember that it’s no longer about quality, but desperate, attention-grabbing ratings.

God help us all.

Peace out.