So, I had an interesting Friday night.
For about six months (well, it feels like six months), one
of my girlfriends (Keeley) and I had been counting down to the Foo Fighters
concert in Melbourne
Now, I love the Fooies, but I wouldn’t (dare) call myself
a die-hard fan. I think I respect the
die-hards too much to insult them like that.
No, I’ve got a few of their albums, which I flog to death at a very loud
decibel, but a ‘true’ Fooie fan; I am not.
*respect to the fans*
However, Keeley loves them, and having no one to go to the
concert with when the tickets were on sale, I came to her rescue. Yay for me.
However, what should have been a straight forward night on
the town, turned into an interesting evening.
You see, The Buttlers had plans to travel to Geelong Melbourne
for the Friday night, so I didn’t have to drive all the way home at some stupid
hour of the morning, get up at a sparrows fart and drive all the way over to Geelong
Smart me.
The plan was brilliantly simple. Charlie was to pick me up from work, and we
were to drive into Melbourne Melbourne
Charlie would have been alone in the hotel for most of the
night, which I didn’t give a crap about.
However, he suggested that to pass the time, he could book an in-room
‘massage’, which he believed would be cheap, considering we were really close
to St Kilda and the girls wouldn’t have to come too far.
Needless to say, he was not surprised when I said ‘yeah
right, champ’.
So, I had everything sorted. Or so I believed.
Spanner (in the works) number 1: Unbeknownst to Keeley,
her gorgeous little daughter, who is in prep this year (bless), had her school
concert on the same night at the Fooies concert. Disaster.
At this point, I would like to say that I think it was very
inconsiderate of the primary school to not change the date of their annual
Christmas concert, considering Keeley had to see the Fooies. It’s the Fooies! Get your priorities right,
school!
Personally; Fooies – prep concert – Fooies – prep concert…
I know what I’d do, but I’m a selfish, heartless bitch.
Keeley, on the other hand; is not. She’s an awesome Mum, and had to go to her baby’s
concert (which I got to see lots of gorgeous photos of!!)
Bonus here: concert started at six, finished at seven,
which meant Keels could come into the city straight after that. Sweet.
We can still go.
Spanner number 2: Charlie decides that he’s going to go to
the races that night with his parents (apparently, the family horse stud had a
glue bucket (horse) racing in a big race at Moonee Valley
Problem here? Not a major one really. It just meant that I was driving myself into
the city, and he had to find his own way there.
No parking for him though (hotel only allows one vehicle per room). So, he can’t bring his car into the
city. So after a billion logistical
phone calls, he organises it so he can travel to Moonee Valley with his olds,
and from there, catch a couple of trams at 11pm at night into the city, jump
off at a St Kilda Road tram stop (that I
figured out for him), and roll around to the hotel.
It’s okay Charlie; I won’t spend the majority of the
Fooies concert stressing out about him being raped or murdered on a friggin
tram travelling through the Western Suburbs into St Kilda in the middle of the
night! No; I won’t worry at all. I won’t spend the majority of the concert
checking my phone in case you’d been murdered and needed to call and tell
me. I won’t text you all night, just for
a reply, to know you haven’t been murdered.
No. I’ll be just
FINE.
So I’m sitting in the hotel, thinking ‘I’ve been in
better…’ waiting for Keels, who rolls up about an hour earlier than I
though. Awesome!
We jump in my car and cruise around to AAMI stadium at
about 8.15pm, thinking that we’re just awesome because the Fooies wouldn’t be
on yet. We drove past Rod Laver Arena,
where Sade was scheduled to perform, and from behind the safety of my car’s
tinted windows, laughed at the uber dorks that were clearly going to her
concert. They would be chilling tonight
(and possibly falling asleep), and we would be rockin’!
Good times we were having, only to have them shattered
when we stopped at a set of lights right in front of AAMI Stadium, and clearly
heard Fooies music flowing through the top of the fucken stadium.
THEY HAD COME ON ABOUT AN HOUR EARLIER THAN WE
THOUGHT. AAHHHH!!!
So we manage to find a car park, scramble our way across
to the stadium, stumble our way through it (never been there before), only to
discover that not only had we missed the first fucken twenty minutes of it, but
that we’re sitting with the Gods.
Literally.
We were so high up, that we could actually see over the
top ends of the stadium. Not so bad
considering I could see the gorgeous Melbourne Melbourne
I could even see the birds flying around the tops of the
buildings (you will only appreciate that if you’re a Melbournian). T’was spectacular.
I remember when Keels booked the tickets, they were for a
‘restricted view’. Well, restricted view
we had. I couldn’t see the stage very
well, because all of their rigging and stage shit was in the way (we were
virtually looking down onto it), and the sound was… ordinary.
As we were walking – correction – climbing up to our
seats, the sound was awesome. However,
in the lap of the Gods, it was not. The
higher we climbed, the crappier the sound. Not only could I not understand Dave
Grohl (who I’m now going to refer to as Dave: The Awesome One) when he spoke to
me, and some of the music wasn’t clear, I was seriously questioning the health
and safety of this joint in case there was a fucken fire or terrorist
attack. It would take me like three
hours to get back down to ground zero from our seats, we were so high. In fact, winching us out by helicopter would
be the only way out…
However, the one thing we could see, that a majority of
the people at the concert could not, was the rest of the stadium.
We were so high, we could see everything spread out before
us, including the thousands of people at ground level in front of the
stage. THOUSANDS. It was nothing short of spectacular. The lighting, the atmosphere and the people;
amazing! They were singing and rockin’
out to the Fooies like there was no tomorrow.
Dave: The Awesome One interacted so well with the crowd, even though I
couldn’t understand him. He talked to
them, got them cheering and screaming, and had them hanging on every word and
singing their hearts out.
It was truly awesome.
$130 for shit seats just became gold to me. Seeing so many people enjoy themselves (and
the view of the city skyline) made me enjoy the concert even more.
When Dave: The Awesome One stood in the middle of the
stadium on a special, funky, raised stage, and sang to the audience with just a
single guitar as accompaniment, it was breathtaking. Every single person in that stadium was glue
to every word. Every word. Incredible.
I’ve never seen one man hypnotise so many people in my life.
Now, I don’t know what you’re like at concerts, but I’ll
give you the heads-up on myself. I am
old; I am boring; I will sit through the concert and stare at the stage, quietly
rockin’ and singin’, like a window licker.
I like to take in everything I see.
I don’t dance; I’m not built for dancing anymore. I hate to stand up; can’t be fucked. I rarely clap; that requires effort, and
people that stand up in front of me and force me to stand so I can see, shit
me. I have to fight the strong urge to
punch them in the back of the head. ‘Sit
down you selfish fuck’ often floats through my mind, but thankfully, never
escapes my lips. I respect someone’s right
to rock out how they want, but it shits me just the same.
Then of course, there are the ‘woo girls.’ I’m quietly rockin’ out, and I get
‘WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!’ screamed into the back of my cranium from point-blank
range. ‘WOOOOHOOO!!!!!’ You are kidding me, right? Shut the fuck up and have another champers
love.
Then there is the ‘drunk dancer’, who is clearly
inebriated, and sits quietly whilst the music is going, then when Dave: The
Awesome One is talking, stands up and starts dancing, waving his arms
everywhere, and spills beer on everyone in a 10km radius. ‘Sit down you dumb fuck’ does escape my lips,
and he’s quickly pulled back into his seat by his mates.
Keeley and I spend a good 10 minutes laughing at him first
though…
When the concert ended (around 11pm), I said to Keels ‘I
wonder how long it will take us to get out of this place from up here?’ I was
patting myself on the back for having that extra drink of water, as I didn’t
want to dehydrate on the long journey out of the stadium.
Less than five minutes later, we’re crossing Swan Street Punt Road
So after stressing about how Charlie was going to get to
the concert; how Keeley and I were going to get to the concert; how the hell we
were going to get home after twenty thousand people poured out onto the streets
when it ended; how we were going to avoid a rumble with the Sade concert goers;
and if Charlie was going to get murdered or not, we found ourselves stuck in
the predicable post-concert traffic on Flinders Street about ten minutes later. This was a pretty good run, I thought.
I called Charlie, to make sure he wasn’t dead, and he was
in fact walking along the street just around the corner of the hotel! By the time we got back there, he was waiting
out the front for us. Awesome
timing. We rock!
So, after all the fun and games (and woo girls), an
awesome time was had.
I am disappointed that I didn’t get winched out of AAMI
stadium though…
Rock on peeps.
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