HURRY CURRY

Harakiri; the commonly known Japanese word, which refers to a form of seppuku.

Originally reserved for the honourable samurai, seppuku was either used voluntarily by the samurai to ‘die with honour’ rather than fall into the hands of the enemies, or as a form of capital punishment for those samurai that committed serious offences, or performed in a way that bought shame upon them.

This usually involved the samurai plunging a short bladed sword into their abdomen.

Harakiri; ritual suicide.

Over the years, western languages have seen harakiri morph into hurry curry.  So, instead of it sounding like something traditional and symbolic, it now sounds like something we would eat at our local Indian Restaurant.

However, the meaning is not lost, and most commonly used these days, to refer to people that may commit ‘professional’ suicide to save further embarrassment and shame.

Such is the case for our current Prime Minister.

Yesterday’s devastating High Court ruling against her Labor Government’s controversial Malaysian ‘Swap’ Deal, could well have handed Ms Gillard the sword she needs to finish the job.

The Malaysian Solution has collapsed, and that was their only hope after the PNG and East Timor concepts failed to even make it to the proposal stage.  There is no Plan B.  It’s back to the drawing board now, and whilst we wait for them to admit failure and return to the Howard Governments Pacific Solution (which, although controversial, clearly worked), the people smugglers are rubbing their hands together, and loading up the boats before the ink even dries on the High Court’s ruling.

Then, we’ll pile on top of that the Carbon Tax that we, the punters, did not vote for, but somehow are getting because 1 out of 150 representatives in the lower house seems to have more power than we do.

Let’s not forget the Mining Tax, which has seen mining companies band together and produce their own advertising campaign to show us, the punters, exactly how important mining is to this country.  We are so reliant on income from our natural resources, that we would be a friggin third world country without it.

Billions and billions of dollars have been wasted on great ideas that the government just can’t successfully implement.  Fuel watch, grocery watch, pink bats (that burn down houses), green cars, and education revolutions have all failed, and clearly indicate that this government cannot deliver.

At least we have a paid maternity leave scheme.  Yay. *rolls eyes*.  Don’t even get me started on that…

Then; the Thomson affair.  What a sordid mess that is, and Ms Gillard has been dragged into that one kicking and screaming.  However, Thomson’s arse is still sitting on a comfy, green leather back bench, with his mouth super glued shut.

In fairness, I think that Gillard has inherited a lot of bad policy from Rudd, however, that’s what happens when you knife someone in the back, and claim ‘we’ve lost our way’.

Man, I don’t think this government could get any more lost, to be honest.

It’s now irrelevant whether you’re a Labor or Liberal voter (fuck the Greens); I don’t think anyone wants to see a government not governing.  This government is more interested in playing politics for the sake of politics, as opposed to creating good policy for the betterment of Australia.

If we thought Rudd was a show bag (all pretty and promising on the outside, but in reality; full of shit), he’s nothing on Gillard.  At least Rudd gave the impression of being in control.

Personally, and for just a nano-second, I have felt sorry for her.  I think she has her own agenda and is possibly well intentioned, but the hungry, controlling powerbrokers are pulling her strings, and she is happily dancing along.  Unfortunately for her, she’s finding out that dancing to someone else’s tune is not necessarily that pleasant.  Again, that’s what you get for knifing someone in the back.

So, with everything collapsing around them, with the instability of this minority government becoming clearer, with the ‘alliance’ between the Greens and Labor clearly not functioning properly, with policies being developed on the run and failing, where does that leave our government?

More importantly, where does that leave our country?  Whilst policy is forgotten, and politics and power rule, we will suffer. 

So, what options does the government have? 

Interesting you ask that.

Gillard could throw herself on her sword, and commit political hurry curry.  She could resign her position as Prime Minister, and step aside ‘for the betterment of the party’.  She could let someone like Simon Crean (my money is on him) to take over the top job, and get the country moving forward again (forgive the pun).  He could step up, and wipe the slate clean. 

He could declare that he’s not going to introduce the carbon tax until there is a more solid, international agreement, or until the economy is much more stable.  He could return to the Pacific Solution that was clearly working, though this would be a knife through the Labor heart.  God forbid that the party that fought so hard against the Howard Government’s introduction of this policy, admit that it actually worked by re-implementing it.

He could refocus on the economy, health, education and family.  Get back to the Labor roots, and reconstruct the government again.  Start reconnecting with the people of this country, and the workers that have supported them and put them into office.

I’ve blogged about the broken Labor heart before, so you know where I’m coming from on this one.

At least, by doing this, they would have a chance at retaining power at the next election.  If they keep Gillard, they will be slaughtered.

Hurry curry: possibly the most democratic way to remove Gillard from power, and possibly the best way of securing the support of the independents, who have very cunningly based their agreements around Gillard being PM, not around the ALP being in power.

So, if Gillard is ‘removed’ from office, K-Rudd style, how will that go down?  I don’t think the public will be overly upset.  She is the most unpopular Prime Minister in the country’s history, after all. 

That brings us back to the independents.  They have threatened to remove their support of the government if the ALP knife Gillard.   If they remove their support, we have a hung parliament, and off to the polls we go.

But, will they do this? 

I seriously doubt it.  Why? Because Oakeshott (independent), Windsor (independent) Bandt (Green) and possibly Wilkie (independent), will lose their seats.  The punters have seen how these idiots have put the government over a barrel, and don’t like it.  Democracy will have its day, and they’ll be out of politics quicker than a dog shot in the arse.

If you think the ALP are desperate to hang onto power, they’re nothing compared to the Greens and the independents.  The ALP know they have a chance; the others know they’re fucked.

So these four clowns will probably support an ALP/Green government with someone like Simon Crean as the new PM.  Gillard’s career will be in tatters, and she will possibly linger through a slow death in the back benches, and fade away after the next election.  Lord knows she can’t resign from politics yet; not without sending the country back to the polls.

Or could she?  Would be an interesting act of revenge, wouldn’t it?  Knife her in the back, and she’s out completely, throwing the government into complete turmoil.  Mmmm…. Nothing like a woman scorn…

However, would she want to resign?  Would she want to walk away, admitting defeat, acknowledging the polls, and be remembered as one of the biggest political failures in Australian history?  Hurry curry indeed… just without the death thing.

Then, there is the Wilkie factor.  Mr Andrew Wilkie; the independent MP for the federal seat of Denison, Tasmania.  Tasmania; the state we mainlanders like to make fun of.  Tasmania; the place we forget to include when we draw a picture of Australia.  Tasmania; the state that holds the fate of this pokie-loving country in its hands; or should I say, Mr Wilkie’s hands.

You see, his support of the ALP government, was based upon massive reforms to the legal gambling system.  He’s concerned about the grip that poker machines have on the good people of Australia, and has negotiated the introduction of a mandatory pre-commitment system which will require pokie players to set limits on the amount of money they can spend/lose.  Noble cause.

Personally, I think if you’re stupid enough to gamble and lose, don’t complain about it.  Suck it up and move on.

Anyway, Wilkie has given the government a deadline of either June or July 2012 to introduce this legislation, with its implementation in 2014.  If the Gillard government don’t meet this deadline, he’ll withdraw his support. 

Hello hung parliament.  Hello early election.

So if the Thomson Affair doesn’t get her, if Wilkie doesn’t get her, and if her own party doesn’t get her, the voters at the next election will.

Like Julia Gillard’s immigration policy, I think her political career is all at sea.

Fancy some curry?