WON'T THE REAL DELTA PLEASE STAND UP?

I will warn you before you read any further: you may find some of what I’ve written in this blog offensive.  I will not apologise for that.  

I posted a quote the other week saying that ‘people who declare ‘their offended’ are just telling the world that they’re not capable of handling their emotions, and expect everyone else to do it for them’.

Don’t be offended; it is what it is; my honest opinion.

I once, quite controversially, declared that Delta has only achieved the fame she has, because she had cancer.

It’s a publicists dream when their ‘talent’ does one of three things.  One: has a ‘famous’ romance.  Two: gets into some kind of legal trouble (the worse the better).  Three: develops a serious illness.

It garners so much attention on the ‘talent’ that all the money in the world couldn’t by.  That’s what happened to Delta when she became sick, and that’s why there is a soft spot for her in our hearts.  She’s a battler, and every Aussie loves a battler.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not making light of her being unwell. What happened to her was terrible; no question.  However, there are thousands of people out there that go through this battle every day, and unlike Delta, it generally hasn’t helped their careers.

I am particularly annoyed at Delta, because she was ill and having treatment at the same time I was, although she was at a different hospital.  The staff that treated me, like some nursing and specialists in various medical fields, worked between different hospitals, and had the pleasure of treating young Delta.

The stories they told me were not too nice.  The words ‘demanding’, ‘impatient’, ‘inconsiderate’, ‘spoilt’ and ‘rude’, peppered their conversations about her.  Young Delta was not leaving these hardworking ladies with a positive impression.

It also pissed me off because I would think about her behaviour toward the medical staff and other patients whilst I was getting a cup of tea for the old bloke in the wheelchair, strapped to an oxygen tank, and his wife, who was simply knackered from the massive effort involved in caring for her beloved.

I suppose it’s something that only a victim, for want of a better word, of cancer can understand.  There are no priorities; everyone waits their turn.  You conduct yourself in the best, most respectful manner you can, and treat the people looking after you with courtesy.  They’re human too.

Hearing the stories I did created a dislike for young Delta in my heart.

However, in saying that, I think she has the voice of an angel, and I could happily listen to her sing all day.  I have both of her albums, and respect her talent.

She just shits me.  The sugary sweet person we have all come to know and love is not the person she is in real life, and I find the hypocrisy hard to swallow.

I think it just pushes my personal buttons because of the experience we inadvertently shared.

So, when I watch The Voice, I have to smile to myself.  Watching Delta’s ‘performance’ is fascinating.

If you will allow me to digress for a moment.  Where the hell has this talent show been?  What a fucken rippa! 

You know, the likes of Australian Idol and X Factor unearth some great talent, but seem to pump out the same stereotypical crap that we’ve been seeing for years: people that fit the mould, and can be manufactured and churned out of the money-making machine as quickly as possible.  These ‘artists’ usually battle to survive, and often fade away into insignificance in the end.

However, shows like Australia’s Got Talent, and now The Voice, are giving people that don’t fit the mould the chance to shine, and it’s fucking amazing.

And I’ve got to wonder where all of these people have been?  Clearly, some narrow minded fat-cat in an office that towers over reality, overlooks these people because he can’t push them into that stereotypical mould.  They’re not attractive enough, marketable enough, catering to the right generation… so the list goes on.  Forget that they can sing; the fat-cats can’t do anything with them, and don’t want to.

Now these ‘rejects’ have a chance to really show us who they are, and that’s just the thing: we’re getting to see this amazing talent now!  We’re the one’s benefiting here!  It’s wonderful!

I don’t know what’s more fascinating, though: the talent or the judges?  For me, it’s like the talent is the side show, and the judges are the main attraction.  I just love it!

And that’s when I laugh at little Delta; how out of her league is she?  Let’s just have a look at what we’re dealing with here.

Seal.  I remember when he released Crazy back in the 1990’s (yep: that’s how old I am).  I flogged his album Seal like a dead horse, mate.  I loved it, and I still do.  Then, he just disappeared.  What I didn’t realise, that in the last twenty years, he’s released eleven albums, and one four Grammy’s!  WTF?  Where have I been?

I find him magnetic.  I fucken love Seal.  The dude is hot.  And when you talk about fitting the mould, Seal is the last person you would consider.  The dude is like a big, black giant with yellow fingernails and shoes, and is butt ugly.  Sorry, but the dude ain’t pretty. 

However, you can’t help but love him.  He just seems so…real.

Then there’s young Joel Madden.  How gorgeous is he?  And I don’t mean looks: he just seems like a lovely person.  He and his brother Benji have done it hard.  They’ve had a hard start to their lives, and worked hard to ‘make it’.  I have quite a few of their albums, and although they’re like ACDC (pump out the same sounding shit all the time, but you still love it), they’re clearly talented. 

Again, they don’t fit the mould.  They ain’t pretty, they’ve more tatts that a tattoo parlour and I get dizzy from Joel’s continual hair colour changes, but they have that special something that everyone loves, and Joel is absolutely shining in his role as mentor.  He’s absolutely embraced it.

Then there’s Mr Kidman… I mean, Keith Urban.  My friends will kill me for saying that, because they’ve been banging on about the beautiful Keith for years. 

Personally, I’ve never seen anything in him.  I don’t understand the fascination with him, but I’m not into country music either.  However, the other day, I found myself surfing channels on Foxtel, and I stumbled across the country music channel.  I thought I was going to kill myself for a moment, but then I realised that a Keith Urban film clip was on.  I can’t tell you the name of the song, but after watching it for just a couple of minutes, I was hooked.

I sat there thinking ‘okay.  I get it now.  I get it…’ and decided that when I have some spare cash, I would download his entire back catalogue.  I think he has something like eight albums and three Grammys to his name.   Best pull my head out of my arse, simply out of respect I think.

So, here we have three internationally famous artists with years and years of experience and commercial success.  These people, although unassuming, are serious players in the music industry.

Then there’s Delta.

Lovely, beautiful Delta, in flowing dresses and seemingly endless tresses of beautiful, shining blonde hair. 

Beautiful Delta, who in eight years, has produced two albums, and achieved fame… in Australia.  She’s been trying to crack the American market for like the last five years, and I think most of Britain hates her because they labelled her a home wrecker due of her relationship with Brian McFadden.

There is no doubt that she’s talented, but compared to the others… she just seems like the odd one out.

Why the fuck didn’t they get someone like Kylie Minogue in there?  She’s been banging around the traps for about a thousand years, had pumped out over ten albums, is huge in Europe and Asia, and has at least managed to crack the American market.

But no; they got Delta, and I have to laugh.  Her performances are perfect, if not…contrived.  She cries on cue, laughs on cue, bats her pretty lashes on cue, gives the doe eyed look on cue and knows her best angles.  She also seems to have one eye on the contestant and one on the camera.

This ‘mother earth’ demeanour that she’s projecting is laughable, because it all unravels when she has to make a decision, and aimlessly looks around at the other judges for their opinions before she dares project her own.

Pffff.  Fake fake fake.  I’ve discussed that very thing with my friends on Facebook.  What the fuck is she doing?  Fake fake fake.

I almost feel sorry for the people on her team.  Sure, if I want advice on false eyelashes, hair extensions, hair stylists, fashion stylists, beauticians, make up artists and my best angle, I think I will go to her. 

If I want someone to help me with my career; Keith, Joel and Seal are my men. 

At least her new single Sitting On Top Of The World (which I have downloaded, because I love), will get a good run, and her new album will give the charts a good showing.

Shame this show will possibly harm her career more than help it, because people are seeing right through the performance.  It’s like she has to project this image… this product… because some fat-cat somewhere is telling her that’s what we want.

I wonder if this is just a performance, or if this is the real Delta?

Won’t the real Delta please stand up?

Peace out.

WEEK 18 SYL CHALLENGE: TIME MANAGEMENT: PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination.

That terrible word that is a very real part of most everyone’s life. 

You may deny it, but on some level, we all procrastinate.  It can be a major issue, or a minor one, but it’s there.

I will be the first to admit that there are times where I procrastinate, particularly when I’m tired or bored.

Challenge this week: be aware when you start procrastinating.  Figure out the why and determine the best way for you to tackle it.  This will be different for each person, as there are so many variables involved.  For chronic issues, you may try different things through the week.  Like many of the challenges, this will not be a one-off, try it and find your perfect solution forever situation.  You will benefit from working on this long term so be kind to yourself this week.  Aim to stop some of your procrastinating, learn as you go, and realise it is a part of our lives and will come up continuously for most people

For a lot of people, procrastination centres on simply not wanting to start something.  Whether they do not have the tools for the job, the job seems too big and overwhelming, they’re not sure where to start, or they simply can’t be bothered dealing with it.  Its simple avoidance, and being told to harden up and just do it, doesn’t help.

For some people, it’s not about starting, but actually finishing.  Some people are comfortably in limbo, because finalisation means not only bringing ‘safe’ negotiations or dreams to an end, but commitment to the next phase.

Some of these issues are easily fixed, I think.  I know if I find myself delaying starting a project, I have to sit myself down and ask what the fuck I’m doing.

Do I not have the tools to do the job?  No?  well get them.  Stop mucking around.

Is the job too daunting?  Well, break it down into smaller jobs, and tackle one at a time.

My garden is a perfect example of that.  I’ve procrastinated on a lot of work in the garden because it’s simply so overwhelming. 

I have twenty-six garden beds at home.  Twenty-six spread across an acre.  When I look at that number, I shit myself.  Twenty-six.  It’s completely overwhelming to know that I have to manage all of that, and hold down a nearly full time job.  It’s a massive challenge.

So, instead of procrastinating and stressing myself out, because ignoring the garden just makes the job of maintaining it even harder, I broke the garden down into sections of priority.

Whatever needed the most urgent attention got it first.  Some gardens, like the veggie garden, need constant planning and attention.  Others like the rose and perennial gardens don’t, but they do need it at specific times of the year. 

It was simply a matter of mapping out a plan of management, and following it; one garden bed at a time.

The other thing that really helped in this situation was eliminating the pressure I put on myself.  Did it really matter if I didn’t do any gardening this weekend?  What’s the worst that could happen?  A plant may die?  As terrible as that is, shit happens.  Plants die, and you pull them out, replace them, and move on.  That’s the beauty of a garden: it’s constantly evolving.

If you’re not sure where to start a project, simply list down what you think needs to be done, and work out priorities.

If you can’t be bothered starting, then you have to ask yourself if the task is really that important at all?

As for procrastinating on finishing, well eventually thinks must transcend.  You need completion to move forward, and if you’re afraid to move forward, then you must ask yourself why.  It then becomes something more than just a matter of procrastination.

As I said before, I find myself procrastinating most when I’m tired or bored. 

I could have ticked all the boxes (have the tools, have the plan, know where to start), but am really tired and can’t focus.  I become easily distracted, and end up travelling down another tangent that has nothing to do with what I’m meant to be doing!

That where the lessons from a couple of challenges comes into play.  Is it really that important?  Can it wait? If it can’t, then I have to remove all distractions and commit myself to what I have to do, and just do it.

However, if it’s not important, then I just walk away.  If my life is not going to end, or the world is not going to be swallowed up into a big black hole, then I can give it a miss for now.

I think that’s what it all comes down to.  How important is the task that you want to do?  Is it even worth doing?  Does it fit in with the big ‘life’ picture for yourself, or is it just a meaningless task?

Is it something that someone else wants or needs us to do, and I use work as a perfect example.  Sometimes it can be hard to find the motivation to do the things I need to do at work, particularly if I’m bored or tired. 

I find with work though, that if there is a task that is stressful, or requires a considerable time commitment, that I clear the schedule and just get into it straight away.  Face the ‘fear’, and do it.  More often than not, after I have finished the task, my mind is at ease, and the stresses or concerns are gone.

There are, however, some big issues in my life that I know I am procrastinating on.  I won’t go into them here, but I know fear of change is what is making me hesitate, amongst many other things.

These are serious, life changing decisions… and perhaps procrastination is the wrong word.  I’ve made the decision I need to make; it’s now just a matter of timing.

Even though, fear still holds me back.

So, this week I have to recognise procrastination when it rears its head, ask myself what’s going on, and get my shit together.

Could be a confronting week.

Peace out.

MY HUSBAND KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT GARDENING...

So, it’s become apparent that as brilliant as Charlie is at fixing things, building things (from garden beds to houses) and maintaining our pastures and cows, he knows fuck all about gardening.

I should be fair; he is really good with natives, particularly trees.  My knowledge is quite limited in this area, though I am learning, but Charlie is really good with native trees.

However, that means fuck all when I have an acre of perennial and annual gardens to deal with.

When autumn and spring roll around every year, I curse the fact that we have such an expansive garden.

The pruning, weeding, planting, planning, mulching and cultivating required shits me to tears sometimes, and the amount of work is never fucking ending. 

Then of course, there are the 130 plus roses I have to contend with.  Those fuckers fight back when you prune them, and I have so many scars on my arms from the thorns, that I look like a self-mutilating emo.

Yes: I do wear gloves and long sleeve tops when I’m pruning roses, but don’t be under the illusion that those things stop thorns.  They do not.

However, I do enjoy the fruits of my labour, for the garden is absolutely spectacular when it’s in full bloom, and there is nothing quite as lovely as sitting on the verandah with a book and a cordie on a warm evening, and basking in the fragrance of nature.

There’s also nothing quite as awesome as the realisation that you’re eating produce from your garden.  Leaf, root and bulb vegetables, as well as fruits and herbs; there’s no end to what you can do with all of these goodies.

At the moment, Charlie and I are having a ‘discussion’ about the garden.  I have made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that there are to be no more garden beds built.  No more!

Charlie goes on a creative tangent, and I swear to God I come home from fucken anywhere, and there’s a new garden bed.  I’m like WTF?  Another one? C’mon!

So, we have a magnificent frame that runs beside the garage, and it has olives growing along them.  We’re training them; they’ll be espaliered along the wires, and form a beautiful ‘olive’ wall that hides the garage a little.  Charlie wants to build another fucken garden bed in front of it.  I’ve cracked the shits and said ‘no more’. 

Charlie then says ‘This garden bed can be my project then.  I’ll look after it.’

That’s when I declared the screamingly obvious: ‘Charlie, you know fuck all about gardening.  Not only would you not know the right things to plant in them, but you wouldn’t know how to maintain it.’

‘I know how to garden…’ he sulked.

‘Ahhh… pruning the lower branches off gum trees is one thing, but maintaining a perennial garden is another.’

‘What’re you saying?’

‘You don’t know how to garden.’

‘I do so!’

‘Do you know how to prune?  How to strike cuttings? Which plants are perennial and which are annuals? What plants get pruned and when? Do you know how to prune roses?’

‘With a chainsaw?’ he smirks.

‘Do you even know what type of plants we have in the fucken gardens?’

Charlie just blinked at me.  ‘No… but I could learn…’

‘You’re absolutely right champ.  You could learn, and you’d be a great student.  However, you can’t be fucken bothered with it.  Really.  Can you?’

‘No.’

Charlie spends hours at night time in the summer months watering the gardens, and hours on the mower and with the whipper snipper to maintain the lawns.  However, maintaining a perennial garden requires a completely different skill set. 

He has an absolute heart attack when I give my salvia’s and pentstemons their autumn prune.  Two thirds of the plant is on the ground, and we’re just left with startling sticks. This is normal, but he freaks out.

When I pull out the ever multiplying African daisies and the guara’s (butterflies), he nearly cries because I’m pulling out a good, living plant.  Dude, they’re taking over and smothering everything, I explain.  You have to thin this shit out, or you’re going to have serious problems.

After several years of the world not ending, and the garden not being a disaster area, he finally trusts me.  Can you believe it?  You think with a mother named after fucken flower that has a greener thumb than God himself, you reckon I would have picked up a thing or two, right?  Pffftt.

So, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I need it built, fixed, dig it up, planted, mulched, sprayed, mowed, whipper snipped or watered; Charlie’s my man.   Pretty broad spectrum, I must say, but not always the assistance I need; particularly at this time of year, where everything screaming for attention at once, and there are so many hours in the day.

I wish I was retired.

So whilst he’s chasing cows, burning paddocks, throwing out lime and whatever the fuck he does out there, I’m hip deep in perennials screaming for my love and attention.

At least someone loves me.

Peace out.

WEEK 16 SYL CHALLENGE: TIME MANAGEMENT: FOCUS & SLOW DOWN

Deb, the creator of the SYL Challenge, has hit upon an area that I need serious improvement on, and have been working toward for some time now.

Focusing on what needs to be done, and slowing down.

I’m one of these ‘busy’ people that run around everywhere and have a million and one things to do.  I try to cram as much into my day as possible, and often feel exhausted at the end of the day, and like I haven’t achieved everything I set out to do.

This is where ‘lists’ come in handy for me.  I’m forever working off lists, and setting priorities from that list.

Reading through this week’s challenge, I can see that through my learnings so far, that I’m starting to clear out some of the unimportant clutter (small rocks), and shift my attention to the more important things that need to be done, including personal priorities for myself.

Since starting this challenge, I have gone from someone that puts their personal priorities, and I’ll use exercise as a perfect example, last, and everyone else’s needs first.

Now, going to the gym every day, and doing water aerobics twice a week has been built into the natural flow of my week.  Just like I have to go to work four days a week, I have to go to the gym on the way home.  The priorities on my day off are the gym and water aerobics, followed by the secondary things that support the flow of the household, such as cooking and ironing, etc. 

Gym and aerobics are only put off for things that I want to do, and not things that I need to do.  They are not, and will not, be swept aside to accommodate someone else’s needs, unless of course there is an emergency or something important that requires my assistance.

In doing this, I’ve somehow managed to free up a lot more time in my day.  I’ve succeeded in sifting out the unimportant stuff, carrying out the priorities, and managing the general stuff well.

However, I’m not perfect, and still have a way to go, even though I think I’m getting the hang of things.

As I mentioned before, I do make lots of lists, and on my days off, I scribble down the things I want to do.  I find that if I write them down, I don’t have to remember them, and the fear of ‘forgetting’ something is gone. 

I don’t stress so much, and I simply prioritize my list, and get on with it.  My list is not dominated by things I must do, rather than things that are important and need immediate attention, followed by secondary things that contribute to the flow of the house, and then ‘me’ time.

It’s incredible how, by simply listing things, prioritising them, and doing your best to get through them, whilst ensuring you include ‘me time’, frees up so much more time.

It’s a lot simpler than you think.

This week’s challenge talks about multitasking, which is something I love to do, but often fuck up.

I can get distracted very easily, as most people can, and a straight forward task can drag out for ages, because I’m jumping all over the place.  I also find that I can be in a hurry to do things, and end up stressing myself out because I’m rushing; rushing for simply no reason.

For example; if I’m later home from work than planned, I race in the back door, start throwing things together in the kitchen, drop things, cut myself, burn dinner or present some slop that somehow resembles something that could be eaten.  

I may be paying the bills online, but get distracted by Facebook, and end up stuffing up a payment.  I could be typing up recipes for my Facebook recipe page, and get distracted by emails or faxes.

All of this simply results in me being more stressed, and dreading having to do these tasks again, which could be made much simpler if I just focused and slowed down.

Hence why this challenge seems to be a good one for me.

Some of the changes that Deb suggests, are as follows:

Eliminating distractions so that when I’m on one task, I stay on that task (i.e. closing other windows while I write a blog post so I don’t dip into email)

Learning when to single task versus multi task (the trick to multi-tasking is to make sure you are combining two ‘autopilot type tasks’, like laundry folding and watching TV, cooking whilst chatting on the phone, or jogging whilst listening to a podcast, rather than tasks that involve skill or brain work).

Building in breathing room (leave blank time in your schedule between appointments and tasks, allow for travel time, prioritize me-time).

Choose the simpler method or option when possible (gives a savings of time, energy, stress and even money at times).

Self-care should be invested in upfront, rather than solely as a reward when you have accomplished ‘enough’ (if left for last, you will often run yourself into the ground emotionally or physically).

Focus on what is truly important (often, if you look at a to-do list of 10 items, there are only 2 that are truly important or critical for that day)

I laughed when I saw this list, because some of these things are so me.  I iron whilst I’m watching telly (two ‘autopilot’ things), I unload washing, drying or fold laundry whilst cooking, and so on. 

However, closing other windows whilst I’m working on specific tasks on the computer is gold.  I feel stupid for not having thought of that before! If I do that next time I pay the bills on line, I may not stuff them up! LOL! 

There are a few great ideas here that I can build into my day, as well as the possibility of a lot more.

So the challenge this week is this:

1.      Set yourself up for success and identify only 2 or 3 important things that you must do each day.  If you achieve those few things and have time, energy or inclination, do more.

2.     Build in breathing room to your day and plan some down time – every day!

3.     Focus.  This week, work to eliminate multi-tasking when you are doing your important brain work at the very least, or from all areas if you are up for a serious challenge.  As much as possible, give whatever you are doing, your undivided attention. 

One thing Deb suggests is that if you find you’re looking for a distraction after a period of time, then maybe you have been doing that task for too long.  Give yourself a break, walk away, make a cup of tea, and return to it.  Can it wait until later if you need a break?

So, this week, I’m going to focus on ‘autopilot’ multi-tasking, and dedicating my attention to ‘brain work’ tasks, so I can focus and get things done.  I’m going to endeavour to eliminate distractions whilst I’m working on the serious stuff, with a view to getting shit done, and giving myself more time back.

Should be an interesting week!

Peace out.