NEVER LEAVE ANYTHING UP TO A MAN (PART 2)

So, Charlie, Jade and I enjoyed a wonderful ten days or so together during her visit to Victoria.  All sorts of fun, frivolities and good times ensued.

Jade came to the pub a couple of times with me when I worked. She likes coming to work with me.  Not because she enjoys my company, or is so proud of me and loves to watch me work.  No.  It’s because she gets fed and can chat to her friends that work there.  Fucker. 

We did girly things together (shopping and movies), dinner with Char and our families, and she spent quality time with her friends and other relatives as well, which she loves.

All in all, a good holiday. J

Spoilt somewhat by the pending deadline of her departure.

As the time drew nearer for her to return to Queensland, the sadder she became.  I think it’s fair to say that she regrets her decision to leave Melbourne and live with her mother, but that’s a story (and a long one) for another day.

So, on the morning of her departure, I had to go into work for an hour or so to sort some shit out.  It was coming up to Easter, we had shit loads to organise, and of course, Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and we had lots of planning to do there.

Jade’s flight was at like 12.20pm, so Charlie said he would pick me up from the pub at 10.30, and we would be on our way.

I’m like ‘Dude; 10.30 isn’t giving us a lot of time… are you sure you don’t want to pick me up sooner?’

‘Naaahhh… she’ll be right.’ He said confidently.

‘Mmmm… I don’t know… but it’s your call champ. 

Not my fucken funeral if she misses the flight.’  Last. Famous. Words.

Twenty minutes late, he was.  Twenty minutes.  How fucken hard is it to get seven kilometres down the road on time. 

Twenty minutes.

As I climbed into the car, and we headed on our way, I said ‘we’re not going to make the flight.’

‘She’ll be right.  You’re stressing over nothing.  It’s all under control.’ He said calmly.

Nope, I thought to myself.  We’re going to miss the mutha fucken flight.

‘Go the back way through Lancefield.  It’s quicker…’ I suggest.

‘No love.  I went down to the airport via the Hume and the Craigieburn Bypass the other day, and it was a great run.  We’ll be fine.  Stop stressing.’

‘It’s your fucken funeral, champ.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’ I reply, looking at the time on his dashboard.  10.56 am.  We’re fucked.

‘I’ll just drop you and Jade off out the front of the terminal, and go and park the car.  You two can check in and wait for me.’

’45 minutes, Char.  We have to be there to check in 45 minutes before the flight.’

‘It’s under control.’ He said, condescendingly patting my leg.

I wanted to punch him in the nuts, but the thought of telling him ‘I fucken told you so’, was keeping my fist at bay.

At 11.30am, we enter the Tullamarine Airport complex, only to discover that the entrance to Tiger has been blocked off, as they’re building a new fucken terminal there (about time, because the Tiger terminal looks like a fucken refitted shipping container.  It’s fucken awful).

So we divert around to the front of the airport, near the main terminals, only to find that the secondary entrance to Tiger is also blocked off.

We can’t get to the terminal by car. 

Charlie can’t drop us off.

Fucken brilliant.

So he pulls up in the bus terminals, drops us off, and leaves us to walk half a fucken kilometre, with Jade’s ridiculously oversized and overloaded baggage, through construction works and other fucken people, to the terminal.

11.45am when we walk through the terminal doors.

There are signs everywhere saying check in is 45 minutes prior to departure.

Jade looks at me in panic.  ‘Lee, we’re too late…’

‘Get the attention of that Tiger chick, and tell her we’ve just arrived…’ I say is I jump in the queue. 

Jade hurries off to explain our situation to the customer service officer (if you would fucken call her that), who very rudely says ‘have you checked in yet?’

‘Ahhh… no…. we just got here and my flight-‘ Jade begins.

‘You need to check in.  Get back in the queue.’

Jade just turns to look at me.  ‘Do what she fucken says, darl.  Get back in the queue.’ I say, thinking there’s another arse I’ll rip when I get to the check in counter.

As we stand in the queue, Jade and I panic as we see the flight board change from ‘boarding’ to ‘flight closed’. 

I grab the nearest Tiger fucken customer fucken service chick and say ‘we’ve been standing in this queue for ten fucken minutes, haven’t moved, and now the flight’s closed.  You better not tell me that I’ve missed my fucken flight.’

‘You’ve missed your flight.’

‘Fucken great.  We could have been on there if that other chick hadn’t told us to get back in the queue!’

‘If you arrived within 45 minutes of check in, you would have missed the flight anyway.’

‘We arrived within 30 minutes of check in, and I know that you have a 15 minute buffer.  If that other chick had listened to my daughter when she tried to explain our situation, she could be on that flight now, instead of you having to listen to my angry shit.’

‘Well, you’ve missed your flight now, and you’ll just have to sort it when you go up to the counter, won’t you?’

‘Nice attitude you have love.’

‘I’m not the one that couldn’t get to my flight on time…’

‘And I’m not the one that wouldn’t help me get on it when I got here.’ I said through gritted teeth.  ‘But that’s okay.  You’ll get more money out of us now, won’t you?  That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?’

She just turned and walked away.  Fucker.

‘You better text your mother and tell her that we’ve missed the flight.’

‘This will go down real well…’ Jade said, pulling out her phone.

‘And she has every right to be angry.  I would be.  Your father had one fucken job today; one fucken job!  Fucken fail.’

Right at that moment, Charlie strolled into the terminal.  I waved him over to us, and simply said ‘we’ve missed the flight.’

‘Fucken what?’

‘You heard me.  We missed the mother fucken flight.  I told you we wouldn’t make it.  I fucken told you so.’  There!  That felt better.  Fucker! One job!!

‘Shit…’

‘One fucken job, Charlie.  One fucken job.’

We were called up to the counter by some poor bastard that was about to get some kind of grumpy crap from me.  ‘I understand that we’ve missed out flight.’ I said, slapping the itinerary down on the counter.

‘Were you on the Brisbane flight?’

‘Yep.’

‘You’re right.  You’ve missed the flight.’ He said smugly.  Just what I fucken need.

‘Wouldn’t have missed it if that chick’ I pointed to the first Tiger chick we encountered ‘had’ve listened to my daughter when we got here, and hadn’t told us to get back in the queue.’

‘What time was that?’

’11.45.’ I replied.

‘You were inside the 45 minute check in time.’

‘I know you have a fifteen minute buffer.’

‘Really? Who told you that?’

It’s at this point I pause.  I felt sorry for this fucker.  He would cop shit like this from arseholes like me (and my fucken husband) who can’t get their shit together enough to get to the airport on time, and then blame the airline for their own fucken stupidity.

‘Tiger Airlines.  We’ve been told before by customer service officers that there is a fifteen minute window if we’re running late.’  This was the truth.  We had been told this before.

‘Well, that’s just not accurate.  We close the flight 45 minutes before departure.’

‘But the board was flashing boarding when we came in…’

‘When it’s flashing boarding, it means the flight has closed.  We’ll have to get you on another flight, but all of our flights are booked out today.’

‘What!?” declared Charlie.

‘When’s the next available?’ I ask.

‘9.20am, tomorrow.’

I turned to him then.  ‘You sort this mess out.  I can’t be fucked dealing with it.’

‘I can’t get her to the airport tomorrow.  I’ve got to work on site.’

‘I can take her.  I’ve got to be in Werribee by lunchtime, so I can take her on the way.  Fucken lucky for you.’ I said, and turned and walked away before I punched some poor fucker in the nuts.

About ten minutes later, Charlie and Jade came out of the terminal to where I was sitting in the pathetic excuse for a café.

‘As long as my arse points to the ground, we’re never travelling Tiger again.’ Declared Charlie.

‘You said that last time.’ Both Jade and I chorused.

‘Home we go.’ Charlie sighed, heading back toward wherever the fuck he’d parked the car. 

‘What a waste of a fucken day.’ I muttered to Jade as we walked behind him.

‘It’s an omen! Maybe I’m not meant to go home?’ she said hopefully.

‘It is an omen, my love.  Your father’s not booking flights and getting his arse more organised next time.’

Jade laughed.  ‘Hope we don’t miss the flight tomorrow…’

‘We’re leaving at fucken 6am, babe.  No way we’re missing that flight.’ 

Not on my fucken watch.

Peace out.