November 2012 will be forever known as ‘the month Lee
didn’t have sex’.
December 1 2012 will be known as the day I shaved the soup
strainer off my husbands face and sexually mauled him.
December 2 2012 will be the day that my husband is physically
unable to get up out of bed. Bastard.
Yes my friends: Charlie is participating in Movember.
For those of you living under a rock, Movember is a
fundraising drive that requires men to grow a moustache during the month of
November, and collect sponsorship from people in doing so. All funds raised are donated toward the
Movember foundation, and go to various men’s mental health organisations. A very worthy cause.
And how did Charlie-Albert get involved?
Well, it started as a bit of a joke when we were at Iris’
house one night.
I think it was actually the 1st of November,
and we were watching a segment on The
Project discussing the origins and popularity of the Movember fundraising
cause.
What started as a joke in a pub in Australia
Mum, Jade and I were discussing the lack of appeal a mo
had to us, when Charlie piped up and said ‘I think I would like to do that.’
We all stopped speaking instantly, and gaped at him. ‘You want to participate in Movember?’ I
asked incredulously.
‘Yeah!’ he smiled.
‘I could do that. It’s just a
fucken mo… and only for a month….’
‘Well… I could help you… I can load up a mospace for you
on the Movember website, and people can donate through that babe. You won’t have to do anything but grow a
fucken soup strainer on your face.’
Jade found that hilarious.
‘Plus, an added bonus for you.’
‘What’s that?’ he smirked.
‘I find mo’s revolting.
I won’t be coming near you in any way, shape or form as long as you have
that thing on your face.’ Mo’s disgust
me. I find them so unattractive and
dirty: I cannot stand them. *shivers in disgust*
‘Holy crap!’ Charlie cries, causing Jade to jump. ‘If you had told me that before, I would have
grown one of these things years ago!’
Mum finds that hysterical, of course, because the sun
shines out of Charlie’s arse, and anything he says is hilarious. *rolls eyes.
He cops a swift punch in the arm from me (which is like punching a brick
wall, by the way).
‘A whole month of peace from you…’ Charlie muses, leaning
back in the chair and linking his hands behind his head. ‘A whole month…’
‘Go fuck yourself.’
So, when I got home that night, I started up his mo space,
uploaded a photo, and posted the link on my Facebook page. Within about 10 minutes, my gorgeous friend
Jane had donated and we were off and running.
Over the past two weeks, I’ve been thanking God that I’ve
finished reading the Fifty Shades
trilogy, because if I was still reading it, I’d be as antsy as an apprentice
who’d been dragged to the brothel by his work mates to celebrate his 18th
birthday, only to be told that the brothel’s closed.
That’s how I feel at the moment.
That mo is revolting.
It’s contraception.
Everyone praises the fellas that grow this face fuzz, but
what about the women that have to put up with them? What about the ladies that
are so repulsed by this sudden facial adornment, that they’ve had to become
celibate or dust off their trusty old vibrators for the month? What about the sacrifice we’re making? Where’s my ‘dry clacka space’ alongside my
husbands ‘mospace’ I ask you?
*shakes head*
It’s all for a good cause though. So far, he’s raised $75.00, and I can see
that he’s really proud of this. As well
he should be. He’s never done anything
like this before, so it’s a first for him.
And he’s copped a bit of shit for it, too. Some of his workmates, golf mates and gym
buddies are like ‘what’s with the face fuzz?’ and he’s like ‘It’s for
Movember. Get online and sponsor me!’
Good on him.
I’m very proud.
And toey.
And also looking forward to the 1st of
December. Sex and maul day. Yeah.
Hairy peace out.
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