A LITTLE SCARE

As I’m heading home the other night, driving through Pyalong in the rain, my phone rings through the stereo.

‘Hi Babe,’ I answer happily.

‘Hey darl,’ Charlie’s voice fills the car.  ‘Where are you?’

‘Coming through The Long babe, why?’

‘We had a knock at the door.’  He says quietly.

Now, this may not sound like anything exciting to you, but when you’re seven clicks out of town in bushland, and half a click from the road, random people knocking on the door is a rarity.  We don’t have door-to-door salesmen up here; no charity collectors.  Nothing. 

Anyone that knocks on our front door, knocks on it for a purpose.

‘Who was it?’

‘The police.’

‘What?’

‘The coppers were here.’

‘What did they want?  Did they want to inspect your guns?’

‘No… no…’

‘What is it?’

‘Well… I was playing the computer, cos it was raining and I couldn’t do anything outside… and I heard a car door close.  I just thought it was you…’

‘Yeah…’

‘Then Jade called out, and said there was someone at the door.  So… I went to see who it was, and she was standing there with two big coppers.’

‘Oh!  What did they want?’

‘Well, I asked them…. are you here to give me a black letter?’  Oh no. ‘And they said no… no…. we’re looking for a certain house, and we don’t know if we have the right one…’

‘Oh… ok.  Who were they looking for?’

‘Fucked if I know… it took me a moment to recover… Jade answered most of the questions for them…’

‘Jade?  Why?  What the fuck were you doing?’

‘I…. um…. I was in… shock, I think….’

‘Why?’  What the fuck?

‘I was expecting you home…. It was raining… the coppers were on the doorstep….’

‘Oh… Charlie-Albert….’ Poor darling… he thought something had happened to me.  Nnnaaaww….

‘I thought something had happened to you….’  Nnnaaawww….

‘Oh poppit…. I’m okay.  I’m here…’

‘I know.  That’s why I rang…’

‘To make sure I was okay?’

‘Yeah.’

Oh the poor darling must have had a minor heart attack.  Two coppers knocking on our door… he must have instantly thought the worst.  I would have been the same, I think.  If Charlie hadn’t been home, and they turned up, I would have been semi hysterical before they said a word.

Poor darling had a scare, and now he’s ringing me to make sure I’m okay.  Bless.

When I got home, I parked the car, grabbed all of my shit, and stumbled to the back door.  As I reached for the handle, the door swung inward, and Charlie was standing there looking a few years older than he did when I last saw him this morning.

‘Are you all right mate?’ I asked.

‘Yeah…. I’m okay…’ he stepped forward, gave me a kiss and big hug, and prattled on for five minutes about the coppers.  Five minutes, and I still hadn’t crossed the threshold.

‘It’s all right.  Nothing’s happened.’ I smiled.  ‘Plus, if it was a black letter, remember that I have life insurance for five hundred grand if I die of an accident.’

‘I know.  I wasn’t really upset about you dying.  Just wondering how quickly I could get my money and buy a little fi-fi wife from overseas for myself.’

I shove past him.  ‘Go fuck yourself.’  Clearly over his shock.

He stumbles along behind me as I make my way toward the kitchen, prattling on about how taken the police were with our garden.   ‘I’ve also taken snags out of the freezer for tea.  I thought I would cook you tea.’

I stop in my tracks, and slowly turn to look at him.  ‘What did you say?’

‘Um… I thought I would cook you tea… you’ve been at work all day and I’ve been home…’

‘Really?’ that’s the reason you’re cooking me tea?  Nothing to do with the fact you thought I was fucken dead?

‘Yeah.  I was going to do some steamed veggies and an egg with them.  How does that sound?’

‘Awesome.’