WEEK 25 SYL CHALLENGE: CATCH UP WEEK

As I was reading through this weeks challenge, in inwardly groaned at the thought of having to ‘reflect’ upon what I’ve done since starting this challenge nearly six months ago.

Then, as a couple of weeks rolled by (I paused on my challenges for a while), I actually sat back and thought about it.

It’s amazing how some of the simplest things I’ve introduced have made a massive impact. 

For example, as I sit here typing this, I look at my little vision board, and see that I’ve achieved some of the things on it, including the justification of an ipad.  Best thing I’ve bought in a long, long time.

This was quite a massive decision for me, believe it or not.  It’s not like I have a spare $600 lying around, you know.  I had to really think hard and research it before I made the decision to buy one.  I must say; I’ve not regretted it. 

I’ve been working very hard on my Wheel of Life issues. 

I’m kicking goals with my health and fitness at the moment.  I’m doing water aerobics twice a week, and going to the gym four times a week.  I was doing water aerobics and gym and additional day a week, but that has been replaced by something that has been such a long term goal for me, that I had actually lost sight of it.

I’ve returned to my beloved mid-week tennis.  Oh how I’ve missed that so, and I’m proud that through improving my fitness levels, I’ve been able to not only step back on the court again, but carry my load.

I’ve got my budget and the household budget under control (well, as under control as an unpredictable life can be, I suppose!), and that feels good.  Charlie and I have set financial goals for ourselves, and for the first time in a little while, I really feel like we’re moving forward together.

In saying that, one thing that we had to get completely clear, was my future. 

I love cooking and really want to explore that as a career path, but financial commitments inhibit me from doing so at this point in time. However, Charlie now understands the passion that drives me in this area, and we’re working toward a mutual goal that will bring around the opportunity to move into this field eventually.  This brings me great joy and a lot of inner peace.

I just hope I’m not dead before it happens! LOL!

I’m working on my Home Audit list, from a few challenges ago (on of the ‘De-clutter’ challenges). 

I’m astonished at how much I have embraced this, and have already implemented a few things that have tidied the place up (not that it was a mess as such), made me feel a little more organised and on top of things.

The stumbling block for me though, is to ‘not take things personally’.  I really struggle with this goal, as people’s words do cut like a knife.  Particularly when I feel like I’ve failed them.  From family and friends, the simplest things can really knock me, and I struggle so much to not take an emotional hit.

It’s comes back to the old chestnut: I’m not good enough.  My self-confidence takes a knock, and doubt fills me.  Fear of judgement takes over, and I find myself overcompensating by accommodating others at my own sacrifice.

I know I’m not alone with this issue; it’s quite common, for sure.  However, I plod along, one step and a time, one day at a time, and try to do my best, think about things a little more broadmindedly, and allow myself a better understanding of where people are coming from so that I can process things better.

 

A tough one, but hopefully, I’ll be able to push through it in time.

So, the last twenty-five challenges have seen emotional overhauls, future planning, organisation and de-clutter, and basically: trying to let go.

I think I’m on my way, but definitely not 100% there yet.  For sure.

Well, life is a challenge, so I may as well embrace it.

As I’ve said before: feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Peace out.