The title says it all, really.
Do I have to explain it any
further? Really?
*sigh
Ok.
So, Jade was coming to visit
during the Easter school holidays.
Charlie decided that he’d book
the airline tickets himself; something he’s never done before. Not that it’s challenging or difficult,
really. Nor is Charlie stupid, by any
means (even though he’s a boy).
Booking a ticket online can be
daunting if it’s something you don’t do on a regular basis. There are so many fucken options! Do you want
insurance? Do you want a seat in this part of the plane (extra money)? That
part of the plane (less money but no leg room)? Do you want baggage? Do you
want extra baggage? Do you want food? Do you want to be able to use the fucken
toilet?! TOO MANY CHOICES!
As such, because there are so
many choices, that you can actually miss some important shit if you’re not all
over it.
Thus enters the wonderful
Charlie-Albert. All well-intentioned,
but looking for the best bargain he can get as well.
So, I stroll into the house one
day after a shift at work, and Char announces that he’s booked Jade’s
flights.
I nearly shit myself right then
and there.
‘Got them off a cheap website!’
he says excitedly, and my heart just sinks.
Here we fucken go…. ‘You put the information in, and the website finds
you the cheapest flights! So they’re all booked! Two different airlines, but
we’ve done that before! YAY!’
‘Well done babe. Well done.’ I say encouragingly, whilst
thinking in the back of my mind, that I must remember to get some Vaseline at
the supermarket, cos I’m sure I’m gonna to get fucked up the arse over this
one.
Midnight, on the eve of
travel. I’d just finished packing my car
for the market, and was doing my last double check, when I could hear Charlie
swearing and carrying on over his fucken computer.
‘What the fuck is going on love?’
I ask.
‘I can’t find Jade’s flight
details!’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t fucken know! They won’t
print and I can’t find some of them!’ poor darling, who is technology
challenged, is somewhat stressed.
‘How come you haven’t printed
them before now?’
‘I fucken did! But I can’t find
them…’
‘That’s because your desk
resembles a backyard abortion.’
‘I don’t need a fucken lecture
from you!’
‘I’m not lecturing,’ I say
calmly. ‘I’m stating the fucken
obvious. Get out of the way, and let me
have a look…’
Five minutes later, I’ve the
itineraries printed out for him, and even dare to ask him why the fuck hadn’t
stuck them on the fridge (cos that’s what I would have done – stupid me).
‘Not everyone is a control freak
like you!’ he cries.
‘I’m not a control freak,
love. I just like to be organised so I’m
not fucking around with flight details at midnight on the eve of fucken
travel. You arse hat.’
So, the day of travel comes, and
Charlie gets a phone call from Jade.
She’s at the airport, and her mum is having a conniption fit, because
the ticket he purchased doesn’t include baggage.
Gee; what a surprise.
So after chatting with the chick
from Virgin Airlines, who very politely pointed out that no baggage was
selected, Charlie has to fork over an extra $70 to get Jade’s ridiculously
heavy suit case, which is no doubt full of crap, on the plane.
Fucken winner.
‘It’s still cheaper than paying
full fare!’ he declared when he called to tell me what happened. ‘So it’s all good.’
‘You’re a fucktard.’ Was my only
comment.
Now, I’ve said before that
Charlie is not a stupid man. He’s a
dumbarse, which most boys are, but not stupid.
There is a difference. I actually believe he is quite intelligent. However, doing shit online is new to him, and
even I, who would class myself as computer savvy, and experienced with online
shit, finds myself double checking shit when booking flights. Charlie would have been very easily confused.
No harm done. Everything was fixed up, and Jade was on her
way.
However, this little hiccup was
nothing compared to the shit we were to face for her return flight home.
Peace out xo
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