I
recently had the privilege of partaking in High Tea at The Windsor Hotel in
Melbourne.
Now,
for those of you not familiar with the tradition, The Windsor Hotel holds afternoon
tea (high tea) every day, and has done so for longer than I care to think
about.
Set
at the political end of Melbourne, across the road from Parliament House and
Treasury Place, The Windsor Hotel is an establishment steeped in tradition, and
has seen many guests from royalty and celebrity, through to common folk, such as
myself.
This
magnificently preserved relic of the late 1800’s, which apparently pre-dates
the Savoy and The Ritz hotels in London, is the only hotel of its type in
Australia.
It
was recently purchased from the Government in 2005, with a view to restoration
and renovation, which in itself, has been surrounded by controversy.
Amongst
the modern architecture and abstract sculptures that is Melbourne’s astounding landscape;
The Windsor offers us an unmeasured journey into a period of traditions that is
nearly lost on society today.
Going
to the Windsor is simply like stepping back in time.
So,
when my friend Greg decided to have a small gathering for his 40th
at The Windsor, in the form of their traditional High Tea, how could I refuse?
Particularly
when I wasn’t paying J
Now,
High Tea is something that Charlie and I would normally not do. It’s just something that’s financial
impractical for us. I’ll be honest about
it. We are poor white trash, after all.
Through
the week, High tea will set you back $59 per person. Apart from enjoying a selection from a vast
menu of teas, you receive a selection of ribbon sandwiches, sweet and savoury
pastries, and of course: scones, jam and cream (real cream, too!).
One
the weekend, $79 per person will see you enjoy not only the delicacies above,
but selections from an amazing dessert buffet that’s enough to send a healthy
person into a diabetic coma.
Charlie
and I were lucky enough to be invited to High Tea on a Sunday, which included
this amazing sweet buffet. Ironic
really, because I’m diabetic and Charlie’s not a sweet tooth at all, and his
idea of dessert usually extends to fruit salad and ice cream (which is exactly
what he had!)
So
when Charlie and I walked through the main entrance of The Windsor Hotel, I
couldn’t help but feel elegant. Like,
somehow, walking through those doors had transformed me into another time and
place, where I actually had some class about myself.
However,
there’s no classing up Charlie, though he was on his very best behaviour.
Whilst
we waited for the High Tea session to commence, we sat quietly in the foyer,
chatting amongst ourselves whilst the rest of our party arrived. Naturally, I checked out the Powder Room
(which I will blog about later – OMG), and Charlie wandered off to inspect the
stair case, which he quietly declared was nothing short of a work of art.
I
did spy him standing in the middle of the foyer, staring up at the detail on
the ceiling at one stage, and couldn’t help but smile. Easily distracted by sparkly things, is my
Charlie.
Greg
had contacted me a few weeks beforehand, and asked me to organise some cupcakes
for his wife, Marika (my bffl’s) birthday.
Their birthdays are but 10 days apart, and Greg (who never really does
anything special for his birthday), felt that Marika’s birthday was being
overshadowed by his High Tea, and wanted to do something special for her.
Now,
Marika didn’t care about her birthday being ‘overshadowed’, as such. She’s not that kind of person. She was there to have a good time and
celebrate her beloved’s birthday with her family and friends.
No;
Greg just wanted to make her feel special, which I thought was just gorgeous.
So,
I organised these special cupcakes for Greg (Angry Bird cupcakes, because
Marika’s a nutter about the iphone app ‘Angry Birds’), because you can only get
them from Fergusson Plarre bakeries, and there are none around where Greg and M
live, and a couple near me. I picked
them up on the way down to Melbourne, and I snuck them to the High Tea staff to
bring out at a later time as a surprise for her.
So,
the time came for us to make our way into the grand dining room for High Tea,
and as I walked through the double doors, I couldn’t help but be impressed by
the opulence of the room.
Beautifully
adorned tables, with stunning Noritake crockery (which would have been worth a bomb), polished silverware, lavish
chairs and stools, and fresh flowers filled the room. It was a lovely autumnal day in Melbourne,
and the soft sunlight filtered through the windows, sparkling off the glassware
and filling the room with life.
We
found our seats and braced ourselves for what we were sure was going to be
nothing short of awesome.
And
we were not disappointed.
The
waitress presented a three tiered stand containing the most delicious ribbon
sandwiches (gorgeous, mouth-watering smoked salmon; chicken, apple & mayo; egg
salad; ham, and traditional cucumber & sour cream), which I had to control
myself from making a pig of myself over.
You
see, I had a plan of attack for this event.
I figured that if I consumed enough low GI stuff, like the sandwiches,
had plenty of tea and water, it would cushion the massive hit of sugar my poor
body would get from all of the sweets.
That was my plan, and I rolled with it.
I
simply devoured some sandwiches and the most gorgeous little meat pie and
quiches you have ever seen. Naturally, I
had a scone (with copious amounts of jam and cream), and then braced myself for
sweets.
OMG.
I’ve
never seen anything like it. Mango
cheesecake, raspberry cheesecake, pavlova, chocolate tortes, lemon torte, mille
faille, mini crème brulee, mini profiteroles, mini macaroons that were
seriously the size of a twenty cent piece, freshly made crepes with a selection
of sauces, handmade ice-creams and platters and platters of assorted mini
pastries that I cannot even begin to describe.
As
they were all tiny servings, I had a selection of about ten different treats, at
which point I thought I better start respecting my sugar levels. I savoured every bite of everything I ate,
because I simply didn’t want to rush through the experience. OMG… it was heaven…
After
the sandwiches, savouries, scone, tea and sweets, I was set to blow. Though, Charlie did point out that it’s
nothing a good fart wouldn’t fix. He was right.
I
didn’t want to leave. It was such a
wonderful, elegant experience, and I had such a good time. Fuck everyone else; I was rollin’ in the joy.
My
friends impressed me; they simply went back for seconds and thirds; something I
simply didn’t have the stomach (or the sugar resistance) for. Buffets are a little lost on me, because I
simply can’t eat any more than my fill.
Charlie can go back again and again, but I can’t. He absolutely filled himself with fruit salad
and some of the yummiest ice cream he’s ever eaten.
He
was gorgeous, actually, because he flipped open the Tea Menu, and really
studied it. Charlie loves his tea. Loves it, and this surprises a few
people, because he seems more like a ‘beer’ person than a ‘tea’ person, if that
makes sense.
So,
he enjoyed the Windsor House Tea (which was stunning!) and his favourite Earl
Grey for the afternoon. Along with his
sandwiches, pies, fruit salad and ice cream, Charlie-Albert was a happy man.
We
left the Windsor in the late afternoon, holding hands as we wandered back to
the car, still revelling in the experience of High Tea. Both of us had enjoyed it so much, and were
really appreciative of being able to go (thanks M & G), as it’s something
that we possibly would have never done off our own back.
Mmmm…
I can still taste that beautiful tea….
I
think I might take Iris there for a Mother’s Day treat. I think she would really like that.
If
you can, get yourselves there; it’s well worth the experience.
Peace out.
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