Tuesday, 27 December 2011

UP, UP & AWAY!

So it’s Boxing Day, and Jade’s off to Queensland to visit her mother (Satan) for four weeks.

As sad as Charlie is to have to put her on a plane and send her to hell, he (and I) are also thankful for a little respite.

Jade can be quite the challenge.  She is a teenage drama queen, after all.

So her flight was at 10.00am this morning, and considering the potential Boxing Day madness at the airport, we left a little earlier than normal today.

There is also the issue of her airline ticket as well.

You see, her mother, in all of her wisdom, could not get a ‘child’ ticket for the time and date she wanted, so she booked an adult ticket instead. 

Now, call me stupid if you want, but I’m thinking that they have ‘adult’ and ‘child’ tickets for a reason, right?  To me, it’s so that when you rock up to check in and travel, that Qantas can clearly see that the person travelling is the person who the ticket is for.

What are Qantas going to say when we rock up with a child who needs to travel on an adult’s ticket?  Jade has no photo ID, because in her typical Gen Y fashion, she has her student ID.  Well done champ.  How are we gonna prove who you are?

So we get to the airport, and I realise that it’s been a while since I stepped into the Qantas terminal; it’s all changed.  Now, they have these check-in kiosk thingies, that you just check yourself in with.  It spits out your bag tag, and then you dump the tag on the conveyor belt, and off you go.

However, there seem to be so many Qantas staff running around helping people that I wonder if it would’ve been easier to still have the old check in counters with a human behind them.  You wonder if technology is really any better sometimes.

The bonus here, is that this change to Qantas’ check in routine enables Jade to check in without a single person looking her ticket.  Charlie or I could have flown on her ticket, and no one would have known. 

Hello terrorists?  If you’re reading this, the door is wide open for you.

So, as we’re walking to the terminal, Charlie and I lag back a bit, whilst Jade flounces ahead of us.  She’s wearing Daisy Duke’s that are painted on, and high heel platform shoes.  She’s more make up on than a Napoleon Perdis make-up artist, and is about bouncing out of her top.

I feel old watching her.  

She thinks she looks totally amazing, and Charlie and I think she looks like Traci Lord, as she struts her junk through the Qantas departure lounge.  I can see all the women looking at her thinking ‘slut’, and the men looking thinking ‘jail bait’.  *sigh*

When we left home, I said ‘Did you have the beauty machine set to ‘whore’ today love, because fuck me…’  She didn’t appreciate it, as you could imagine, and the pronounced that I didn’t understand her fashion sense.

I understand the way she’s dressed.  I don’t think she really does…

So, I figure that society is gonna take care o’ that for me, and she’ll learn soon enough what’s appropriate, and what’s not.  Charlie and I telling her means nothing, so why waste out time.  She’ll learn the hard way, as she always does.

So, it’s time for her to fly, and she gives us both a kiss goodbye, and waves happily (like the beautiful child she is) as she strides into the gangway leading to the plane, and on to another adventure.

Four weeks of fun, neglect and no discipline for her.

For weeks of fun, neglect and no discipline for us.

Whom will get into more trouble, I wonder?

Boo-ya.

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